As I understand it, many of you have been married or have considered marriage or come pretty darn close to it.

Now, with the divorce rate above 50%, it seems like marriage in this country has, at best, a coin flip’s chance at success. That’s just not right in my book.

And with the very public blowup of celebrity marriages, sometimes you have to think: what the hell were they thinking when they got married? Surely they should’ve known better.  (Read: Katy Perry, Sandra Bullock, the poor sap who married that Kardashian woman, and the procession of simpletons who keep marrying Charlie Sheen).

In fact, a little secret: I wrote the Tao of Dating books because I saw my friends in crappy relationships (married or not), and I thought they deserved better.

Now I’m your guy when it comes to dating.  For long-term relationships, on the other hand, I send you to the experts like Dr John Gottman — and Dr Isabelle Fox.

My friend and colleague Isabelle has been a practicing clinical psychologist for over 30 years. She just published a book entitled (more…)

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Here’s an interesting letter I got yesterday which applies to both men and women:

Hi Dr. Ali,

I just bought and read your book on my kindle this weekend and as a Persian girl, born in America, was wondering how you think your principles would work with Persian men?  I am at a point where I am ready to settle down and it seems like all the Persian men just want to play around. I’m 28 and I see a lot of pretty, educated and single Persian girls over the age of 32.  I sit and wonder what they are doing wrong (how are they still single?) and then stress out that I will end up like them.

The principles in your book make so much sense but it just seems like the Persian community has its own dating rules…what’s your take?  Forget the Persian men who play around and start dating guys from all backgrounds?  Thank you for your book, I look forward to implementing your advice. Looking forward to hearing from you — Mary M.

Well well well. I really hope some of you are out fishing right now, because we’re about to open up a big can of worms here.  Let’s talk about dating within your tribe, and whether it’s a good idea or not.

First, let’s think about where these tribes come from.  Until the 20th century, most people lived their entire (more…)

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