Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls: I have a special treat for you. My friend and colleague Olivia Fox Cabane, speaker and trainer to corporations (eg Google), universities (eg MIT and Harvard) and governments worldwide, is coming out on March 28 with her long-awaited new book, The Charisma Myth: How Anyone Can Master the Art and Science of Personal Magnetism. It’s a manual on how to be even more charismatic (since all of you are already such charming devils, obviously).
As a personal favor, I have wrangled her into giving us an interview on the key principles in her book. I’ll be doing the interview this Monday, 26 March 2012. Here’s the information:
- Date: Monday, 26 March 2012, 6pm PDT/9pm EDT/2am London/6am Dubai/12 noon Sydney
- Call-in number: +1 218 862 1300
- Access code: 667202
- Duration: 40min interview, 15min Q&A
Why do you want to attend this call live? Because I’ve seen Olivia speak many times, and I can attest firsthand to the power of her teachings. Charisma can be learned, and quickly — and there aren’t a lot of people better at teaching it than Olivia. Now that she’s not jetting off to train some South American head of state and we have her all to ourselves, you definitely want to be on the call live so you can ask her your burning questions about how to present yourself even more effectively. Ideally, you would read the book beforehand so you can ask the deep questions that usually only the El Presidentes paying her megabucks get to ask.
Some of what we’ll be covering:
- Is charisma innate, learned or a little bit of both?
- The three components of charisma and how to dial each one up or down to be like Colin Powell, Bill Gates or the Dalai Lama
- Which type of charisma to use for a given situation
- Three ways to increase your charisma pretty much instantly
- Side effects and dangers (?) of charisma
Here’s a little sampler from one of her talks on a related topic:
There’s no charge for any of this, so feel free to spread the word and tell your friends about it — they’ll thank you for it.
See you there and then
Dr Ali B
PS: It is now the day after the interview, which means it already happened – and now we have a recording. I was unexpectedly on the road away from my studio equipment, so the quality of my voice is so-so. But Olivia comes through great, and that’s who you wanted to listen to anyway, so here ya go:
Interview with Olivia Fox Cabane on her new book ‘The Charisma Myth’
Right-click to download full interview with Olivia Fox Cabane on The Charisma Myth (20mb, 55min)
Sorry Ali- Frankly I found the charisma interview not only basic but boring. And although I agree with about 95% of what you have to say, I just read Orchid Ice Cream and have a question. How do you balance the “I love sex but I am not a slut” with a man’s need to be the pursuer and feel like he has won a prize? We all know if it is too easy he loses interest. And yet- for those of us who love sex as much as any guy- saying “no” can feel like just so much game playing. So how to balance all this, especially if we are reasonably sure he is still having sex with other women as well?
Interesting question by Judi, I think first of all take some time to figure out exactly what it is you want from this man/relationship – if it’s just fun sex, then you wouldn’t be bothered (or even care) whether or not this man is seeing/sleeping with other women.
If deep down, you are actually quite fond of this man and you think you might be interested in having something deeper/meaningful – then you can still be warm, friendly, flirty, fun but at the same time, you should convey to him, with your behaviour and words, that you’re SELECTIVE when it comes to who you accept as a long-term/sexual partner (= you’re sensual and sexual but you’re not a – quote – slut.)
And this is something you can do easily once you figure out your values and boundaries – so that you are actually in SELECTIVE MODE. (= you say/do things for your own sake, not for the sake of keeping his interest or influencing his actions/speech, which is – quote – gameplaying, and also being a doormat.)
We all tend to lose interest in something that’s easy – think cooking, a movie plot, playing a game, your job, a hobby – do you not lose interest when something is too easy for your abilities? It does little to challenge you or bring out the best in you.
Let’s say that he knows you want a meaningful and exclusive relationship, he has expressed (whether directly or indirectly) to you that he is only looking for fun. He knows that YOU KNOW he’s sleeping with other women. Yet, you keep seeing him; you keep allowing him to have hot sex with you (your heart and sex is the reward) when he has put in little effort to win/keep/fulfill you; he knows you dont want to say No to him for the fear that he will just shrug his shoulders and never call again.
He’s getting away with enjoying you for free. You’ve given in easily..
Your being “selective” won’t guarantee that every man you meet is going to want a committed relationship with you.
But your willingness to compromise your boundaries for the sake of keeping and pleasing him, will lose his respect for you.
Men can’t fall in love with a woman who they don’t respect.