I loved the Tao of Dating: the Smart Woman’s Guide to Being Absolutely Irresistable. I’ve read a lot of relationship books but this one seemed to resonate with me the most. It’s kind of hard to describe what it is about this book that makes you feel so special, so sensual, so…womanly. It’s about harnessing the inner goddess, the one who is downplayed because in our society we have to be strong and stand on our own, and we don’t need a man! But…we still want one. It’s hard to find the balance between the yin(feminine) and the yang(masculine) when our yin is muted so much. It’s time to remember what it means to be a woman and stop worrying how to get a man. They will come. Men want women. Period. Stop caring so much. The idea of being detached and expecting no outcome was incredibly uplifting to me. Imagine the freedom of not having to worry what a man thinks of you…who cares! This book shows you a new perspective on how to look at these situations. For instance, say someone doesn’t like champagne, that doesn’t mean that champagne is bad, maybe it’s just not for them. This approach will make it easier, not to mention you will learn how to stop feeling rejected. You can let go of the striving to be more, you already are everything you want! A metaphor from the book that I truly enjoyed-(paraphrased)…A sapling of great redwood is still a redwood, even when it is just a sapling. At every point of its journey, it is a great redwood, it just keeps growing.
One aspect of this book that I really loved was the thought that I shouldn’t ask for something because it affirms that it is missing in my life. Replace desire with gratitude. Instead of focusing on the fact that I don’t have a good man, car, etc…I am thankful for what I have and I seek to serve others. The world, in turn will seek to serve me. I am a server and I have been practicing this when I get bad tips. I am grateful that I have more money than I did when I came in, and I am continuously repeating to myself that I am grateful for the abundance in my life. It makes the bad tippers not matter as much and the good tips reaffirm the abundance. I have been making a lot more money recently! I also have been practicing the embodiment of characteristics of femininity. I mostly focus on feeling radiant and everyone I work with has been saying that I have a glow about me that wasn’t there before! It’s amazing.
I really liked the idea that pain is wishing the world is different than it is. Now I understand the Buddhist thought that desire leads to suffering. Focusing on the positive brings more of it your way, if you focus on negativity, you will get negativity. “When you have gratitude for something, you are accepting its presence into your life and affirming it to the world. In return, the world will do the same and manifest the object in your life.”
So now, I am thankful for all of the witty, creative, handsome amazing men in my life!
You will also learn 5 behaviors that send men running, as well as ways to keep them around. One of my favorite thoughts from the book- “Women control the depth of the relationship, men control the direction.” Stop directing ladies! Let men be men! You be a lady! Enjoy your wonderful sensual self and others will follow.