Dr. Ali Binazir, Happiness Engineer

“Should I move in with him?”

Here’s a recent letter from a reader:

Hi Dr. Ali,
I enjoy every article you wrote and read them all. Most of all I read your wonderful book, The Tao of Dating. I wanted to ask for your opinion on my current situation. I am currently dating a man (has 3 kids by same woman who he was not married to and long distance, I know how you feel about long distance.)

He treats me like a queen, he is smart, educated and charming. But the man has emotional baggage! He has been hurt in the past and is afraid to love! Multiple times he had asked me to move in and I am considering it.  My question to you is: Is there anything I can do or be that will help him learn to love again?  I look forward to your response! Tara

Tara —
Thanks for the kind words and the letter!
Wow.  Sounds like a lot of things happening concurrently here.  Long distance, 3 kids, emotional baggage.  Well, let me ask you this, Tara: (more…)

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Written by Ali Binazir MD MPhil on 16 January 2012

“How can I make this work?”: Forcing vs allowing

Hi Dr. Ali,

Thank you for the wisdom you share – beyond giving me insights into relationships, you’ve helped me to be more satisfied with where I am.  Now, I’d love to get your advice about a specific situation.

I met a man in college a few years ago. We dated for a summer, but I got the impression (which I’ve since realized was wrong) that he wasn’t interested in a relationship, so I suggested that we just be friends. We did become friends, but we also ended up (more…)

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Written by Ali Binazir MD MPhil on 7 December 2011