What do women want: the enigma of female sexuality
This has got to be one of the most insightful articles on female sexuality I’ve ever read. It discusses some new scientific findings about female arousal with profound implications — and some very controversial interpretations.
Every man should read this to understand better the inner workings of the female psyche; every woman should read this to better understand herself. Two of the thought-provoking findings: women are aroused by a much broader array of stimuli than men are. And although men’s subjective reports of arousal pretty much match their objective physiological arousal, the women’s subjective reports had massive disjunction from the objective arousal, almost as if it were two different people reporting.
I encourage you to read the whole article. In the meantime, here are two passages which I found particularly thought-provoking:
“Meana spoke about two elements that contribute to her thinking: first, a great deal of data showing that, as measured by the frequency of fantasy, masturbation and sexual activity, women have a lower sex drive than men, and second, research suggesting that within long-term relationships, women are more likely than men to lose interest in sex. Meana posits that it takes a greater jolt, a more significant stimulus, to switch on a woman’s libido than a man’s. “If I don’t love cake as much as you,” she told me, “my cake better be kick-butt to get me excited to eat it.” And within a committed relationship, the crucial stimulus of being desired decreases considerably, not only because the woman’s partner loses a degree of interest but also, more important, because the woman feels that her partner is trapped, that a choice — the choosing of her — is no longer being carried out.”
That’s big. To me, it says that one of the reasons that marriage dampens sexual interest is the lock-down. Where there’s no choice, there’s no mystery. So the desire for commitment actually works at cross purposes (more…)