Latest Blog Posts:
  • The body language of love and attraction

    Last week I read a book I’d been meaning to read for a long time — Love Signals: A Practical Field Guide to the Body Language of Courtship by David Givens, Ph.D. It turned out to be even better than expected. In fact, I made 163 highlights and took 19 pages of notes!

    Now we’ve all heard the term body language and are aware of how it works to some extent. But the word language is not even a metaphor here. Body language is literally a language, and if you’re not familiar with the vocabulary and syntax, you might miss something life-alteringly important.

    Luckily, language operates at an unconscious level, so you’ve probably been doing a good job of understanding body language all along. At the same time, a little bit of extra training can put you way ahead of the competition – and enrich the experience of peoplewatching next time you’re in a public place.

    Here are some fascinating snippets from the book:

    – You have a whole center in the temporal lobes of your brain dedicated to responding to (more…)

  • Dr Ali’s Book Club: “A Path With Heart” by Jack Kornfield

    Soon after moving to San Francisco, I became aware of Spirit Rock, the teaching and insight meditation center just a few miles up the road founded by Jack Kornfield some 30 years ago. Friends spoke highly of it, and your first session was free! With nothing to lose, I made the pleasant pilgrimage to Marin County and sat in on one of Jack’s classes.

    Jack turned out to be one of the best teachers I’ve ever had. After years of meditation and study in Asia, not only does he know his stuff very well, but he’s also quite funny. Like a great college professor’s lectures, his discourses range widely and incorporate numerous allusions, stories, quotes, and quips. He had us laughing at a regular clip of once every 5 minutes or so. Don’t you wish more teachers did that?

    I later found out that Jack is also a practicing PhD in psychology. It seemed as if his (more…)

  • Clooney’s Curse, Online Lying & the Dilemma of the Great Man

    Letter of the day:

    Dr Ali, love your work…thank you so much. I realize you probably get hundreds of emails, but I hope you can reply to me. Question: Met a great guy online — a gentleman, courteous, considerate. Except he obviously lied about his height by 5 or 6 inches. Is this a red flag? Thank you, Tracy

    Tracy – Thanks for the kind words! I actually don’t get hundreds of emails. I get hundreds of thousands of emails. Per hour.

    Many of them are trying to sell me walk-in tubs, which I hear are all the rage these days. There’s the occasional well-meaning gentleman from Nigeria who wants to deposit a few million dollars in my bank account out of the goodness of his heart, Canadian pharmacies that are very concerned about my love life, and a lot of ladies with Russian-sounding names who somehow know that I’m a cat person and want to show me their kitten – on a webcam, no less!

    The crazy thing is, they’re all total stangers! And yet, so generous. The outpouring of love online is just (more…)

  • Mailbag: Can you make a messy guy tidy up?

    I’ve got some interesting letters that I’d like to share with you. First, a quick announcement: the next Tao LIVE will be happening in San Francisco on Tuesday, 10 June, 7-9pm. Format is 30-40min talk followed by Q&A. Topic of the day is The Tao of Bliss: How to Feel Great in Your Body All the Time. Click here to get tickets on Eventbrite. Come on down if you’re in town. I’ve only got room for 30 people in my living room, so get your ticket quick. Wine and chocolate included in the ticket price — I will happily bribe you if that’s what it takes for you to show up.

    And now, to the letters. First one is about a lady finding herself in the apartment of a great guy — except that the place is an unholy mess. How can she convey her discomfort without alienating him? (more…)

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