Howdy and welcome, esteemed visitor.  This blog is meant for smart folks who are looking to improve their love lives and become the best possible version of themselves in the process. I draw upon Western science, Eastern wisdom and good old horse sense to come up with my stuff — hope you find it eminently useful.

Some of you have wondered in writing (or out loud): “Why should I listen to this guy?”  Well, you shouldn’t really (see below on the Buddha).  But for the credentialists amongst you, here they are: A.B. magna cum laude from Harvard College, M.D. from the University of California San Diego School of Medicine, M.Phil. from Cambridge University.  I’m also a Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist and NLP Master Practitioner.  I’ve consulted for Fortune 100 companies as an Associate at McKinsey & Company and have a hypnotherapy practice in Los Angeles, California.  I also write for the Huffington Post — you can check my article archive here.

How is this relevant to you?  I’ve studied behavioral change a fair amount and have gotten good results with people who wanted to implement change in their lives. My philosophy is simple: Don’t just listen to me. Instead, test out for yourself the ideas I present to you.  The last words of the Buddha were “Be ye lights unto thine selves”, which roughly means question authority.  Go out there and figure stuff out!  If the ideas work for you, use ’em. If not, move on and use something else. I’m committed to helping you live a more joyous, fulfilled life and become the best possible version of you.  Would be fabulous if you’d like to come along for the ride.  And if not, no hard feelings.

A propos, I’ve authored The Tao of Dating: The Thinking Man’s Enlightened Guide to Success with Women (under the name Alex Benzer which I have since retired) and the audio courses The Tao of Persuasion and The Tao of Networking.  My most recent book, The Tao of Dating: The Smart Woman’s Guide to Being Absolutely Irresistible, came out in 2010.  The reviews have been absurdly complimentary; check them out here.  It’s even be the highest-rated dating book on Amazon — 4.9 out of 5 stars!  Craziness.

I love to hear from my readers and find out what’s on your mind.  If you have a question, put ‘Question’ in the subject line and send an email to drali(at)  Make sure there’s a question in there, and do your best to keep it under 200 words, since those are the ones I’m most likely to answer.

You can even call us here at the office: 213 444-6826 (444-6TAO).

  • Telephone: +1 213 444 6826
  • Email: drali(at)