Recently, some of my readers told me that they hadn’t seen any reviews of The Tao of Dating: The Smart Woman’s Guide to Being Absolutely Irresistible. Well, I can’t blame ’em! The reviews have been hiding in plain sight on the Amazon page for the book.
And you know what? The reviews are glowing! Incandescent! Absurdly complimentary! All five-star reviews, except for one four-star — from a guy. (Figures.) Anyway, I’ve pasted all the reviews from Amazon right here. They are completely unedited, even when they misspell my name. Careful, though: after you read these, you may feel strangely compelled to purchase 12 copies of the book for you and all your single friends:
5.0 out of 5 stars Life changing viewpoint on dating philosophy for women. A MUST read. , June 17, 2011 By Kimberly McGeorge – See all my reviews Amazon Verified Purchase This review is from: The Tao of Dating: The Smart Woman’s Guide to Being Absolutely Irresistible (Paperback) I think the price of this book is worth one sentence. “Fullfillment is a feeling….not a person.” The rest of the book explains what this means and why this is important. Dr. Ali appears to have deep compassion for both men and women stuck in the same dating behaviors that have resulted in the same miserable situations they have found themselves in the past. If you take the advice and insight in this book to heart — Your behavior will change, what and who you attract will change and then you can pass this book on to one of the other millions of other women who need a wake up call.
5.0 out of 5 stars for all women, however smart…. , May 2, 2010 By Ruth (Cambridge, England) – See all my reviews This review is from: The Tao of Dating: The Smart Woman’s Guide to Being Absolutely Irresistible (Paperback) Dr Ali’s style is no nonsense, but gentle – like a kind brother or friend. The book uses both a scientific and spiritual approach. There are lots of good practical suggestions – for example on where to meet potential dates, and how to spot men who ultimately won’t be able to measure up but also there is the spiritual Tao side which helps one to let go a little and trust in the abundance of the universe.
I thought the book had two main themes – one is to be the best version of yourself you can be for your own sake and working towards that. The other is the insight into the way men think and what is important to them and appreciate it is different from women, but no less valid. Knowing what matters to them helps you interact differently and more successfully – and to be prepared if things don’t go quite as you hoped.
Like one of the other reviewers I don’t fit into the professional, IQ off the chart model – but the advice and ideas put forward by Dr Ali will apply to all sorts of women. The book has helped me to understand how important it is to be myself and that being authentic is so much more attractive.
There’s lots of great information in the book, and I have read it through more than once – in fact writing this has reminded me of so many good bits that I’m going to read it all again.
5.0 out of 5 stars Amazing LIFE book, not just dating , June 3, 2011 By LiveToRead – See all my reviews This review is from: The Tao of Dating: The Smart Woman’s Guide to Being Absolutely Irresistible (Paperback) GET THIS BOOK! I have never purchased nor felt the need to purchase a dating book before. I was drawn to this particular work because Dr. Ali combines spiritual tenets with proven scientific facts to give great advice for dating and for life, and I am so glad I got it. All of his tips are really about how to cultivate a positive and confident outlook on life, which creates a positive and fulfilling dating experience. My favorite nugget of wisdom – and there are many- is to want and seek the food, not the menu. This means not looking for someone who looks good on a resume, but someone who provides real fulfillment in the form of great conversation, caring gestures and support.
There are many great exercises in this book and most of them are based on the principles of NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming). Anyone familiar with NLP knows that it is a fantastic way to improve your life by improving your thoughts and beliefs. I found them all to be immensely helpful.
Dr. Ali’s writing style is easy to follow and full of humor, making this book an enjoyable read and a great self-help tool! I doubt it’s a coincidence that within a week of starting to read this book I had three dates set up with three different guys :)
5.0 out of 5 stars Must Have Field Guide for Life! , May 30, 2011 By TF – See all my reviews This review is from: The Tao of Dating: The Smart Woman’s Guide to Being Absolutely Irresistible (Paperback) My copy of “The Tao of Dating” is dog eared, highlighted, written in, and well worn. I refer back to the chapters frequently when I need a gentle and humorous reminder of how to stay on track to be my best self. It is my most trusted field guide for my everyday life. I have been moved by the information, and found that when it is put into frequent practice, the results are instant and profound. When quoting or sharing the information I have learned from the book to a friend, they often tell me how brilliant (yet common sense) it is. “The Tao of Dating” is the best gift you can give yourself or to your best girl friend. Do not wait another second to buy this book!! Thanks Dr. Ali!
5.0 out of 5 stars A refreshing perspective on dating , May 30, 2011 By Leslie – See all my reviews This review is from: The Tao of Dating: The Smart Woman’s Guide to Being Absolutely Irresistible (Paperback) I bought this book after reading a number of Dr. Ali’s columns via Huffington Post. From the first article, I got the impression that this man was offering a perspective on dating different from what I’d read in other books and articles. Rather than relying on games and clever strategies, Dr. Ali emphasizes focusing primarily on what you have to offer and what it is that you want from a potential partner, and taking the rest from there. He suggests (rightly) that if you are confident in yourself and your desires/needs, you will have little difficulty attracting good guys into your life. After following his advice and adapting some of the techniques he recommends, I’d have to say I agree! If you’re unsatisfied with your dating life and want to rev things up in a way that affirms you as well as those around you, I would recommend picking up a copy of the ‘Tao of Dating’.
5.0 out of 5 stars the ONLY dating self-help book worth buying!! , May 28, 2011 By callioppe – See all my reviews Amazon Verified Purchase This review is from: The Tao of Dating: The Smart Woman’s Guide to Being Absolutely Irresistible (Paperback) The focus of this book is to helping you find a fulfilling relationship and reminds you to not waste your time with men who will not meet this goal. Unlike all the other books out there that I’ve read or even the advice portion of sites like eHarmony, this book is not about using manipulation and snagging a man, it’s about creating the life for yourself that will make you most happy and successful…and once you take on the attitude that life is plentiful and fulfilling, it is surprising how many more quality men that you start noticing and that are noticing you!!
This truly is the smart woman’s guide to dating and is the only dating advice book worth buying!
5.0 out of 5 stars Best All-around great advice! , May 27, 2011 By Kay – See all my reviews Amazon Verified Purchase This review is from: The Tao of Dating: The Smart Woman’s Guide to Being Absolutely Irresistible (Paperback) I have studied Psychology for years and I have to say that this is one of the best books I have ever read!
If you are looking for something that will work for you, not only in your dating life, but your everyday life; this is it!
I have been a widow for over 5 years and being back in the dating pool wasn’t easy. Because I have read so many books that deal with people, (relationships between men and women) dating, basic functionality, etc., I thought I was pretty savvy; but not so. Reading this book gave me the opportunity to look at things from a different perspective, this was key; again, thank you Dr. Ali.
This book is full of heartfelt, great advice from Dr. Ali. Not only have I never felt more confident about myself, I am
thankful and happy about who I am and what I have to offer and bring to a relationship. Although I am not in
a relationship at the moment, I do feel confident that when the right man shows up I will know what to do and how
to proceed. I love who I am and no matter my eventual fate, I will always have myself to fall back on….. So, thank you so very much for writing this book.
5.0 out of 5 stars Dr. Ali B Rocks!!!! , May 27, 2011 By Freda – See all my reviews This review is from: The Tao of Dating: The Smart Woman’s Guide to Being Absolutely Irresistible (Paperback) I listened to an interview from Dr. Ali B that prompted me to seek out this book. I loved what he had to say during the interview and I wanted to hear more. This book doesn’t provide tricks to hook a man nor is it a primer for just dating. It is a primer for LIFE. Other dating books encourage you to try this and that and make it difficult to wrap your head around. Dr. B strongly encourages you to be who you are and not to settle for someone that cannot accept who you are. This book provides helpful guidance through any relationship whether it’s with a significant other, family, friends or even a pet. The basic principles are the same. This book has provided me with a lot of insight that has cleared away emotional baggage to allow myself to be who I envision myself to be. I am very happy (yes, even though I am single) and am applying “The Tao” to my daily life. I am looking forward to taking my new perspective into the dating arena because I have seen the results that it has given me in my daily life. Thank you Dr. B. You Rock!!!!
5.0 out of 5 stars Positive and insightful! , May 26, 2011 By Karen “Karen” – See all my reviews Amazon Verified Purchase This review is from: The Tao of Dating: The Smart Woman’s Guide to Being Absolutely Irresistible (Paperback) This book is like the positive big brother reminding you how wonderful you are. I wouldn’t consider this a groundbreaking book- but I DO consider this a GREAT book to remind you of how to be happy; with yourself, with your life and with your dating life. A must read for any woman, single or not.
5.0 out of 5 stars More than just dating help , May 26, 2011 By Le Anne Crounse “Pencowgirl” (Fredericksburg, TX) – (REAL NAME) This review is from: The Tao of Dating: The Smart Woman’s Guide to Being Absolutely Irresistible (Paperback) The Tao of dating is more than a dating book. It is a philosophy that allows you to improve all relationships. It is a step by step guide to reframing your thought processes. It is a guide to fullfillment. If you want a satisfying long term relationship this is the treasure map. You don’t need to settle any longer.
5.0 out of 5 stars A dating book for someone who doesn’t believe in dating books , May 26, 2011 By T. (OH, USA) – See all my reviews Amazon Verified Purchase This review is from: The Tao of Dating: The Smart Woman’s Guide to Being Absolutely Irresistible (Paperback) As a rule, I don’t read dating books. I’ve always believed (or wanted to believe) that a woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle. While I might like to have a relationship, I would never invest in a book about how to snag a man. I’d rather live my life and seek fulfillment by being who I am. It turns out that this is the perfect book for someone like me. One of the author’s main points is that fulfillment is a feeling, not a person. Having a relationship doesn’t make you who you are; rather, by fully being who you are, you’re likely to attract people to you. It isn’t a radically new idea, but the author combines the spiritual principles of Taoism and the findings of established social science in a way that I connected with. I expect that the wisdom from this book will be useful in dating situations, but I know I’ll go back to it again and again whenever I need a reminder that it’s not just okay to be me; in fact, my true nature is a gift I should be sharing with the world. Eastern philosophy is easy enough to practice in theory, but it’s difficult to be detached while in pursuit of a romantic attachment. This book is an excellent manual for how to accomplish just that.
5.0 out of 5 stars Fantastic read , May 21, 2011 By Jennifer W (Los Angeles, CA) – See all my reviews This review is from: The Tao of Dating: The Smart Woman’s Guide to Being Absolutely Irresistible (Paperback) I attended a talk the author gave in Los Angeles and was so taken with his simple, effective tools for transcending negativity that I decided to buy this book just to see what else he had to offer. Although the title references dating, this is a book that addresses a much broader terrain, underscoring that if we first examine our relationship with Source, then with ourselves, we will have a much better chance of having great relationships with others. Though there are plenty of very original, creative tools for attracting, finding, and keeping a mate – with generous helpings of dry wit so you remember to have fun – the most compelling parts of the book to me were the author’s illumination of sacred relationship, in which the female and male, through their offerings to and acceptance of the other, achieve balance as integrated Divine Female and Divine Male. This book also contains some real gems for understanding the male psyche and heart – and I love how it seeks to empower the Goddess within all women. It’s a fantastic read.
5.0 out of 5 stars Should be required reading for all women who are dating , May 10, 2011 By collinsinla – See all my reviews This review is from: The Tao of Dating: The Smart Woman’s Guide to Being Absolutely Irresistible (Paperback) I have never read a dating book before, and I was a little skeptical. I have had wonderful relationships with men. I have meaningful relationships with friends of both sexes and different ages. I didn’t think I needed dating or relationship advice, but my book club chose The Tao of Dating, so I read it…In one sitting. I could not put it down. I devoured it, loved it and will recommend it to every woman I know. It has sound common sense advice supported by spiritual guidance and scientific evidence. It is a FANTASTIC book that you should read and share with all of your lady friends!
5.0 out of 5 stars Read this before your next first date , April 20, 2011 By a.r.williams (Washington, DC) – See all my reviews Amazon Verified Purchase This review is from: The Tao of Dating: The Smart Woman’s Guide to Being Absolutely Irresistible (Paperback) I received this book yesterday at 4pm and had finished it – complete with notes in the margins, underlines all over the place, and dog-eared corners – by 8pm. If I’d only read this book a month ago, I could have saved myself SO much trouble! When I say that you should read this book before your next first date, I’m not kidding.
It’s a little bit like the Player’s Bible for women, minus the yucky connotations of conquest for the sake of conquest. And it isn’t even that the author is telling you brand new things, it is that it is so easy to focus on what you think you need and what your girlfriends are telling you is true. This book cuts through all that surface stuff that confuses the situation and gets down to what is going to help you navigate the world of dating.
In an on-line marketplace that offers a ton of men trying to capitalize on women’s insecurities and fears by telling a woman how to manage herself through dating (anyone else see Steven Colbert point out that if you want to make a lot of money, invent something new for a woman to be insecure about?), this book stands out for its gentle approach, its emphasis on the positive, the way it dovetails / advocates with a whole-life approach to owning your inner Goddess, and operating from your strengths not your fears. Adding to the author’s credibility is the fact that he freely quotes and references others – Don Ruiz from the Four Agreements and John Gottman, one of the leading researchers on what makes a good marriage. You really do have to read the right books to write the right book, and the author has clearly done so.
Commanding the right relationship is in your control. If all the advice from your girlfriends and your internal insecurities have completely obscured the basics, get this book and by all means, read it before your next interaction with a romantic prospect.
5.0 out of 5 stars Fantastic book about life, not just dating! , April 6, 2011 By PaigeT – See all my reviews This review is from: The Tao of Dating: The Smart Woman’s Guide to Being Absolutely Irresistible (Paperback) It’s a fun, enlightened primer for how to live a more conscious, fulfilling life disguised as a book about improving one’s dating life…who knew? I mean, when I become better, I attract better…wether that’s relationships, peace, work or money. Right?! I highly recommend this!!! There are many “of course!” revelations that helped me let go of beliefs that were holding me back. It’s a fast read, but packed full of information you’ll want to refer back to over and over. Thanks, Dr. Alex.
4.0 out of 5 stars Nice book , February 20, 2011 By Unidraconus – See all my reviews This review is from: The Tao of Dating: The Smart Woman’s Guide to Being Absolutely Irresistible (Kindle Edition) This is a cool book and worth reading. I am a fan of the Tao and thought I would check out this book to get an idea of how to tell when a girl is into me. Glad I did.
5.0 out of 5 stars The stuff smart women think they should just know, but don’t. , February 16, 2011 By Antonia – See all my reviews This review is from: The Tao of Dating: The Smart Woman’s Guide to Being Absolutely Irresistible (Paperback) When I say “smart women,” I don’t mean simply women who possess street smarts, relationship savvy or “women’s intuition.” This isn’t just a dating advice book. I mean, yes. It is. But it’s actually Actually ACTUALLY a book about Tao philosophy, the kind of massive paradigm shift that changes a person’s entire mental infrastructure. Much to my delight, Dr. Binazir even references Robert Anton Wilson’s “Prometheus Rising,” one of the books that had the biggest impact on the way I think (and, therefore, everything).
Just to illustrate the simple brilliance of this book, I’ll use the piece of information that may have had the biggest impact on me personally. Dr. Binazir uses the metaphor of men seeing women the same way a hungry person sees a meal. If you’re hungry, you’re not going to be peevish about a nice home cooked meal, insisting upon steak and lobster. You’re going to be grateful for the meal, and enjoy it thoroughly. As women, we’re taught to see each other through the lens of fault-finding, so the idea that men don’t do this at all but instead see the good stuff first [possibly exclusively] was incredibly powerful for me. Yeah, that may be simple, and once I read it, it was so obvious. But somehow I missed it for approximately 15 years of dating life. For that gem, all I can do is give an extremely humble and grateful “THANK YOU” to the author.
Read this book.
5.0 out of 5 stars From empty dating life to overflowing with dates! , November 4, 2010 By C. – See all my reviews This review is from: The Tao of Dating: The Smart Woman’s Guide to Being Absolutely Irresistible (Kindle Edition) Thanks to this specific book, I went from having a nonexistent dating life, with empty weeks stretching ahead to being booked every night of the week– and in some cases, having two or three dates per evening. Best of all, I actually enjoy the process of dating now– I have so much fun on dates.
First, Dr. Ali’s straightforward talk and revelations lead you through a series of epiphanies and complete mindset-shift. You will think differently and feel differently.
Second, his pragmatic and immediately applicable tools help you behave differently.
Put this all together and the results, for me, were dramatic: I now feel like I have my pick of the litter– a slew of fabulous guys who all clamor for my attention. If someone had told me weeks ago that this is what my dating life would be like now, I would not have believed them. And yet– it has happened. It’s not magic– it’s sound science; and we’re just lucky that Dr. Ali has packaged it all together in a fun, easy-to-use guide.
His guide is so valuable that I re-read it periodically, because it’s so easy to go back to old habits of mind. And each time, I feel like I’ve gone through a refresher. I feel old, limiting thought-patterns falling away and a new dose of enlightenment settling in.
5.0 out of 5 stars holistic dating guide for common-sense conscious woman , May 5, 2010 By Marjorie Hahne “Marj Hahne” (Lafayette, CO) – (REAL NAME) This review is from: The Tao of Dating: The Smart Woman’s Guide to Being Absolutely Irresistible (Paperback) Every dating/relationship book or model that I’ve read or encountered has resonance–decent takeaways and valuable considerations–but some fall short in their scope, either recycling predictable status-quo information, prescribing “what to do” without a compellingly indisputable “why,” presenting concepts that are more abstract than pragmatic, or perpetuating information that I personally don’t think serves the better natures of men and women.
Dr. Ali draws from solid psycho-spiritual and personal-development concepts, science, and reality (!) to contextualize dating as, really, an integrated expression of who we are. Which may be why it seems insufficient to review The Tao of Dating without also “reviewing” Dr. Ali, whose communications–emails, interview appearances, Huffington Post articles–are consistently “on”: sharp, balanced, precise, fresh, authentic, fun. He’s a trustworthy advisor because he’s a head-&-heart-smart, nuanced straight-talker.
The biggest wake-ups for me were Dr. Ali’s four categories of men and how to spot ’em, the practical applicability of his distinction that “fulfillment is a feeling, not a person,” and his presentation of what John Gottman calls “the four horsemen” of communication (criiticism, contempt, defensiveness, stonewalling).
5.0 out of 5 stars SPECIFIC TIPS THAT WORKED FOR ME, NO FLUFF , April 28, 2010 By dragonfliez “dragonfliez” (Portland, OR USA) – See all my reviews This review is from: The Tao of Dating: The Smart Woman’s Guide to Being Absolutely Irresistible (Paperback) Here’s an example of one of the best things I learned from Alex that got AMAZING and IMMEDIATE results from men I actually wanted!
First, I have to tell you that I despite beautiful, smart, successful, well off, fun, funny, and sexy, (and I’m NOT exaggerating or just being positive here), I found myself constanty frustrated to no end with only men I didn’t want pursuing me and treating me like I wanted to be treated, but no interest, no pursuit from the ones I wanted!
I felt dating was hopeless. I was always irritated with the ones pursuing me, wishing “now why can’t so-and-so, who I actually WANT, treat me like this???” I had read all of Paige Parker’s e-books and listened to all of Christian Carter’s CD books (both excellent companions to Dr. Benazir’s work, but no substitute!) and found that what Ali had to say in much more succinct terms was not only the missing piece, but the main meat of what all the others were trying to say in their dozens of more expensive products.
Everything changed for me because of a few things I absorbed from Ali’s material. (One of these things that I reiterated as my own belief, had the man of my dreams “joking” about eloping just two weeks into it!)
THE FIVE THINGS A GODDESS GIVES A MAN by Dr. Ali Benazir
1. Give him his Freedom
2. Give him your Faith
3. Give him your Bond (be there for him, be reliable, show up on time, do as you say, be a true partner)
4. Give him your Praise
5. Give him your Grace (your forgiveness)
5.0 out of 5 stars The Best Dating Guide for Women EVER! , April 26, 2010 By Kim N. “Kimi” (San Diego, CA) – See all my reviews This review is from: The Tao of Dating: The Smart Woman’s Guide to Being Absolutely Irresistible (Paperback) The Tao of Dating is a must have guide for all women seeking fulfillment and self-empowerment. The book is based on five themes: wealth-consciousness, Be-Do-Have mentality, enlightened self-interest, feminine-masculine polarity, getting out of your own way. It incorporates perspectives such as male point-of-view, scientific, spiritual (meaning working within the world the way it is). The information provided is practical and includes fun exercises to engage our senses and teach us who we are and what we want. This book helped me regain my personal power and made it easy to navigate through the dating world with ease, eloquence and joy. I refer back to the contents often and consider it the best handbook on dating EVER!
5.0 out of 5 stars The Tao of Dating , April 22, 2010 By Elizabeth O. Merkel “betsey merkel” (cleveland. OH) – See all my reviews .(REAL NAME) This review is from: The Tao of Dating: The Smart Woman’s Guide to Being Absolutely Irresistible (Paperback) The Tao of Dating is a wonderful guide for all women, young and old. It combines scientific research, the insights of practical tips and stories, and the breadth of Eastern wisdom. This is a guide to keep by your side. Over time with practice, you will begin to absorb fundamental principles, helping you to shift beyond cultural mindsets grounded in deficit thinking and move toward perspectives of abundance. This is philosophy to adopt with quiet and resolute focus so that you may become more of who you are, sharing the benefits widely as you evolve with those you love and those you have yet to love.
5.0 out of 5 stars Outstanding! Sound science and practical techniques. , April 6, 2010 A Kid’s Review
This review is from: The Tao of Dating: The Smart Woman’s Guide to Being Absolutely Irresistible (Paperback) Based on thorough science; packaged in a fun, lively, useful and practical way, this is the best guide I’ve ever seen on dating. Ali Binazir has both the academic training and the pragmatic approach to help you get really good results.
He’s not kidding, ladies, this WILL make you absolutely irresistible.
“The Tao of Dating is, simply, the book that I wish I’d written myself. I couldn’t help but marvel that one man had compiled such a wealth of dating experience and spiritual wisdom into one slim tome. I have already bought copies for my private coaching clients and could not recommend Dr. Ali’s work with any greater enthusiasm. Smart women who sometimes struggle with dating have found their Bible.”
–Evan Marc Katz, Dating Coach and author of Why You’re Still Single: Things Your Friends Would Tell You If You Promised Not to Get Mad
“Dr Ali has given us in The Tao of Dating the gift of the goddesses, reminding us that we women are the ones who hold the keys to our fulfilllment in relationships — that when we claim our feminine power of simply being who we are, we cannot but find the happiness we want. It’s up to us to navigate the ship to the safe harbor we so desire. Thanks Ali for honouring women so deeply!”
–Agapi Stassinopoulos, author of Gods And Goddesses in Love: Getting the Life & Love That’s Right for You and Conversations with the Goddesses