Many of you wrote in after video blog #6 asking, “How am I supposed to love my enemies? I mean, they’re my enemies! This makes no sense!”
Hey, I hear ya. So here’s a little explanation of that concept as I understand it. Make sure to rate the video and comment so I know you’re listening, and if you like it, share it with friends via Facebook and spread the good word:
I agree with “loving your enemies”. I don't think one can be fully at piece without looking at each positive and each negative situation as a gift. I am 66 years old, married for 38 years. When I first left my husband 6 years ago, I didn't even fathom the path for learning and exploring that I would be doing. I blamed my husband for the problems in our marriage. I have since looked at what my contribution to the “failing” marriage was. I gave too much and had very few boundaries. I am getting a new understanding of narcissistic men and why I am attracted to them. I do not hate the current one in my life, (who actually made the choice to go with another woman instead of me.) In fact, I have reached out to him and bewildering enough, he seems to accept my boundaries and respects them. At the same time, I am not in an intimate relationship with either this man or the woman who “can't give him up”. Even though I was hurt and a bit perplexed when I was “passed over”, I am grateful for both of them and my increased understanding of narcissism and how it has ispiried me to learn more. It is truly a gift. I have compassion for them, and truly care about each of them.
It was easy for me to learn this lesson when I reframed things so I thought about hatred and power being tied together. If I hate my enemy then I am giving him power over me. Now I can look at if I want to give my power away by reacting or use my head and not fill my heart with hate
There is so much going on in your situation, it's amazing you have found a sort of peace in it. I'm having rough times with a long distance relationship, I guess my situation my not be that annoying compared to yours! ;D
Hate accomplishes nothing. We need to learn to have compassion for everyone. If someone is purposely hurting me, then I probably would view it differently. I have had a friend rant at me. That was ok. I listened to what she had to say, let it process for a couple of days, then I got back to her with “I messages”. We are again friends.
Hate causes stress within ourselves. Stress causes heart problems and cancer. Setting up boundaries and letting people know what is acceptable behavior and what is not, is a start. ie, “I am uncomfortable with this and I feel yucky. I will be more than happy to listen to you at a later time. I don't feel like being part of this right now.” It creates so much peace!
i am seeing a thoughtful and passionate being, thankyou man
I think this is a solid principle we keep having to remind ourselves of over again and again. I've practiced this with raising children to separate the behavior from the child. I've also learned we have to take responsibility ourselves for how others treat us. We can teach others how to treat us in a kind and loving manner with also getting them to respect our boundaries. It's amazing how this can inspire attraction in others. Thank you for the very insightful videos..Keep them coming please.