Thanks for your super-enthusiastic response to yesterday’s article on Friction: The Enemy.
Seems like we touched a nerve there, since so many of you signed up for the Approach Clinic before even knowing what time it was happening.
Good to know the natives are hungry.
Well then. I’m happy to serve, so let’s deliver some more.
In the last piece, posted on the blog yesterday, I talked about 3 ways of handling friction:
1) Bypass it.
2) Overcome it.
3) Remove it entirely.
The techniques I will share with you in the Approach Clinic will fall under these three categories.
To give you a preview of each method – you bypass friction by using your head cleverly.
You overcome friction by setting up physiological responses that give you a surge (or erase your thoughts) when you need to. We’ll be using some hypnosis and NLP techniques for this.
You remove friction through meditative techniques.
Today, I’m going to tell you a little about bypassing.
The simplest way, of course, is to act fast. This is because, contrary to popular belief, thinking often precedes feeling.
One of the most fascinating things you could see on TV around 11 September 2001 was the interviews with people on the street. The reporter would approach random people and ask them how they felt. Many responded like this:
“I don’t know how to feel.”
Think about that, because it’s pretty profound. “I don’t know how to feel.”
Well of course you don’t. It’s not like some switch from the outside world plugs into your brain and tells you how to feel! Unless you stubbed your toe or got knifed in the stomach, you get to interpret events and choose how to feel.
The ‘know’ precedes the feeling. You have to *think* about how to feel! Feeling isn’t necessarily automatic!
Certain scenarios have occurred with enough frequency such
that you’ve made a pretty good circuit for automatic behavior.
Just the other day, I was in a church service when a phone went off with my old ringtone on it. Immediately, I got hyperattentive, started to look for my phone to turn the ringer off, felt the beginnings of shame… then realized that my ringtone is different. AND my phone’s in the car.
Sure we’ve got free will. Uh-huh.
99% of people are in a robotic fog 99% of the time, responding to their enviroment like Pavlov’s dogs to a tuning fork. You cut me off? I flip you off. You insult me? I insult you back. You’re a pretty girl? I’ll get afraid real quick so I can’t talk to you.
You don’t have to be one of the automatons, brother.
But if we’re so good at behaving robotically, why not program the robot to do things that are good for us? Like exercising regularly, eating our vegetables, and talking to pretty girls whenever we feel like it?
So here’s the simplest bypass technique I know: go say hi to her before you have a chance to think about it. Call it the ‘just do it’ technique, the ‘3-second rule’, or whatever the hell else you want to.
You count one one thousand, two one thousand, three one thousand, and by four one thousand you’d better be talking to her.
Another bypass technique involves changing your physiology such that you never have a chance to create friction in the first place.
One that I talk about extensively in the Metamorphosis Program and will share with you in the Approach Clinic is called ‘going into the state of the bond.’
Basically, you imagine that you’re about to bump into your best bud whom you haven’t seen in eons, and go into that state. That super-friendly version of you has no trouble approaching women at all.
There’s also ‘host physiology’ – acting as if you own the joint. The host has carte blanche to speak to anyone he wants — “Hey there, having a good time? Thanks for making it to the party.” So, if you’re not hosting your own party (always a good idea), then pretend you are. We’ll be going even deeper into that in the Clinic.
That’s three bypass techniques for ya. I’ll talk about overcoming and obliterating techniques later this week.
I have no problem giving away all this stuff because the Approach Clinic is 90 min of me talking away, which is about 45 pages worth of stuff. And guided meditation, hypnosis and other tools which are impossible to convey in print.
So go test out the stuff I’ve given you so far, and then join me in the Approach Clinic next Tuesday, 9 March at 6pm PT/9pm ET. We’ll record it for your future reference so you can reinforce the learnings at your leisure.
My plan is to help you solve this issue once and for all such that it becomes your secret weapon, the bazooka in your back pocket – and a cornerstone of your growth as a man.
You can still use the coupon to get $60 off the $99.95 tuition. Just enter ‘APPROACH’ as the coupon code when you’re signing up for the clinic, and it’s $39.95. You can do it here: Register for the Approach Clinic, yo
The power is within you,
PS: If there’s one social skill that can turn around your entire love life, it’s your ability to meet new women. The more of them you meet, the more options you have, the less needy you’ll act, and the more confident you’ll act. If you’re ready to turn this part of your life around, the Approach Clinic is an excellent start: http://bit.ly/cdJomw
PPS: In the next piece, I’m going to talk about the book that’s required reading for the Clinic and will re-mold your brain — if you let it. Stay tuned.