The Tao of Dating by Dr. Ali Binazir

How do you make good decisions in ambiguous situations? The four Axelrod Criteria will hold you in good stead in many difficult decisions.

May 3rd, 2010 | Tags: Axelrod Criteria, dating, Dating Advice, dating advice for men, dating advice for women, making better decisions, Robert Axelrod, Tao of Dating, The Evolution of Cooperation | Category: Dating for Men, Dating for Men & Women, Dating for Women | Leave a comment

Lately, women have been reporting on the proliferation of a peculiar creature in their neighborhoods. They say it’s hairy, communicates in grunts if at all, is always trying to gain their favor, doesn’t train very well, and tries to hump everything in sight.
Yup – men are everywhere. But we’re not nearly as baffling [...]

April 22nd, 2010 | Tags: corpus callosum, Dating Advice, dating advice for smart women, dating advice for women, dating bible for women, Dating Men, Evan Marc Katz, flirting with men, gender differences, how to get guys, how to understand men, men's idiosyncrasies, mono-tasking, multi-tasking, primer on men, relating to men, Relationship Advice, relationship tips, Relationships, Tao of Dating, tao of dating for women, understanding men | Category: Dating for Women | Comments (3)

We first started talking about how friction is the enemy.  Then we discussed technique #1 for managing it – namely, bypassing it.  Then we covered overcoming friction – technique #2.
Today, I’m going to talk about technique #3 – obliterating friction.
This is the idea of getting rid of friction permanently.
Permanently?  Yes, permanently.
In Taoism, this is called [...]

March 5th, 2010 | Tags: Approach Clinic, effortless flow, getting out of your own way, getting phone numbers, getting rid of friction, meditation, meeting girls, mindfulness, monotasking, not-doing, shibumi, sprezzatura, State of Awesome, Tao of Dating, wu wei, zazen, zen meditation | Category: Dating for Men | Leave a comment

Thanks for your super-enthusiastic response to yesterday’s article on Friction: The Enemy.
Seems like we touched a nerve there, since so many of you signed up for the Approach Clinic before even knowing what time it was happening.
Good to know the natives are hungry.
Well then. I’m happy to serve, so let’s deliver some more.
In the [...]

March 4th, 2010 | Tags: Approach Clinic, bypass it, dating advice for men, dating advice for smart men, free will, get phone numbers, how to get phone numbers, hypnosis, NLP, overcome approach anxiety, overcoming friction, smart dating advice, stop being a robot, Tao of Dating, three-second rule | Category: Dating for Men | Leave a comment

I had my first kiss when I was 19.
Her name was Emma. She was also 19, with an irresistible English accent and very cute to boot. I was pretty sure that I was going to marry her.
Except that she dumped me, pulverizing my heart into nanoparticles. It was the only time in my life that [...]

February 8th, 2010 | Tags: Ali Binazir, Amazon dating, Berkeley dating, Brown dating, Cambridge dating, Columbia dating, Cornell dating, D.E. Shaw dating, Dartmouth dating, dating advice for smart men, Duke dating, Facebook, First Kiss, Google dating, Harvard dating, how to kiss girls, love lives of smart men, McKinsey dating, Microsoft dating, MIT dating, Oxford dating, Penn dating, Princeton dating, self-acceptance, Stanford dating, Swarthmore dating, Tao of Dating, Yale dating | Category: Dating for Women | Leave a comment

Awright boys and girls. I’m going to make this quick and I’m going to make this sweet.
In 24hrs, you will have one of the best opportunities for ‘success’ with with the opposite sex, however you define that for yourself. Or at least of meeting someone new.
This is because Thursday, 31 December 2009 is New Year’s [...]

December 30th, 2009 | Tags: Dating Advice, dating advice for men, dating advice for women, how to kiss a boy, how to kiss a girl, making out, Metamorphosis Program for men, midnight kiss, planning new year's eve, Tao of Dating, Tao of Persuasion | Category: Dating for Men, Dating for Men & Women, Dating for Women | Leave a comment

What compels me to write this article today is a recent trip to the Harvard-Yale Game festivities, reminding me of how smart, educated women routinely sabotage their own chances for romantic fulfillment.

December 27th, 2009 | Tags: alex benzer, Berkeley dating, Brown dating, Cambridge dating, Columbia dating, Cornell dating, Dartmouth dating, dating advice for smart women, Duke dating, Fulfillment, Harvard dating, Ivy League dating, lead with love, MIT dating, overthinking, Oxford dating, Penn dating, Princeton dating, Relationships, smart women, Stanford dating, Swarthmore dating, Tao of Dating, Tao of Dating for Men, tao of dating for women, Yale dating | Category: Dating for Women | Leave a comment

Here’s a great letter that a reader wrote to me recently. It brings up so many great issues — for younger women, older women, pretty women and women who worry whether they’ll stay pretty:
Hi Dr. Alex,
I’m depressed, bummed (child of 70s) and I need help.  At least I hope you read this…
Some background: I’m [...]

December 2nd, 2009 | Tags: abundance, alex benzer, Attractiveness, beauty, contempt, dating advice for older women, dating advice for women, dating tips for women, drop dead gorgeous, fertility, open-heartedness, plastic surgery, poverty, poverty-consciousness, proxy for fertility, radiance, Tao of Dating, wealth-consc, wealth-consciousness, when beauty fades | Category: Dating for Women | Comments (2)

Hi Dr. Alex!  I’ve been forwarded many of your emails from a friend and I enjoy reading them. Now I have my own questions…

Here goes nothing!  So, I’ve been dating this guy for a little over a year now. He works in the same building as I do that’s how we met. He’s 15 years [...]

October 30th, 2009 | Tags: alex benzer, Dating Advice, dating advice for women, dating tips for women, Excuse, Facebook, Fulfillment, Relationship, Tao of Dating, Trust Issues, Women Trust | Category: Dating for Women | Comments (5)