Meet my friend Bart. As a surgeon, every day at work he’s entrusted with the lives of others, and he handles the job well. He’s a genuinely gifted fellow. He’s also fit, healthy, and well-rounded.
In other words, Bart has made a lot of great decisions in his life, and continues to do [...]
Here’s a great summary of some of the current thinking on what happens to your noggin when you’re in love (or lust). The name of one of the researchers is Timothy Loving — you can’t make that kind of thing up.
(CNN) — Poets, novelists and songwriters have described it in countless turns of phrase, but [...]
Here’s a letter I got today which really got me thinking:
Hello Dr. Alex;
I recently purchased your book, “The Tao of Dating for Men”, and read through the entire book in two days (could not put it down). I am going back now to read it in more depth and do the exercises.
First, I wanted to [...]
Little known fact: I went to high school in Los Angeles, so I’m kind of from Los Angeles. So when I found myself back in LA after a long hiatus, it was a bit of a homecoming. I looked forward to perpetually sunny climes, rollerblading on the boardwalk, and the general openness of the people. [...]
Awright boys and girls. I’m going to make this quick and I’m going to make this sweet.
In 24hrs, you will have one of the best opportunities for ‘success’ with with the opposite sex, however you define that for yourself. Or at least of meeting someone new.
This is because Thursday, 31 December 2009 is New Year’s [...]
Many of you wrote in after video blog #6 asking, “How am I supposed to love my enemies? I mean, they’re my enemies! This makes no sense!”
Hey, I hear ya. So here’s a little explanation of that concept as I understand it. Make sure to rate the video and comment [...]
One of the most moving visits of my trip was to the great city of Warsaw. In this video, I tell you exactly what made it so moving and how it relates to your personal resurrection.
Especially if you think you’re in a slump, down in the dumps, at the end of your [...]
Hey guys. Thanks a lot for your enthusiastic response to the videos. One of you even recognized me in church service the other day and said hi. This stuff gets around – who knew!
Here’s another video to stimulate some thinking and reconsideration.
I’d always wondered what it meant to ‘love your enemy’ and it never made [...]
Thanks for your super-enthusiastic response to the ‘Project Love’ video. Seems like it struck a resonant chord with a lot of you.
The key thing to remember is to just get back to basics sometimes.
So often we get caught up in the adult world of upholding our own supposed importance that we forget the simple [...]
This video from Riga, Latvia is the first in a series that I made on my trip. They’re really quick, but if you apply the principle I talk about, you can radically transform your life – I kid thee not.
The idea of projecting love may sound a bit foreign and new-agey at first, but I [...]
Finally, after years of telling myself “I’ll spend this summer in Europe,” I got my act together and went for a monthlong trip to Northeast Europe. Not only was it a great experience, but it also reminded me of the power of travel to heal the soul and expand the mind:
1. You increase your patience. [...]
Yesterday I came across this fantastic article on happiness by Joshua Wolf Shenk (a college classmate of mine, coincidentally) in The Atlantic Monthly on the Grant Study, the longest longitudinal study of happiness ever conducted. Its findings are revelatory, beautiful, sobering, instructive, encouraging and altogether amazing. As it turns out, some of the participants in [...]
When the going gets tough, the tough get meditating.
A few weekends ago I had the privilege of attending The Soul of Success seminar with Marianne Williamson and Deepak Chopra in Los Angeles.
In these times of economic uncertainty, Marianne and Deepak had decided to transmit a message of spiritual and economic empowerment to their audience.
As a [...]
On Wednesday 15 July 2009, we finally had the much-anticipated reading at the world-infamous LA independent bookstore Book Soup. It was a full house, and the spirited audience had some fine questions ready for me. They also took care of the case of prosecco in very short order — impressive.
Here’s a video of the first [...]
I get many letters like this from readers (both male and female):
“I met this guy, and he took me to dinner, and it was really romantic, but he did/didn’t try to kiss me, then he called/didn’t call back, then he asked/didn’t ask me out again, and what does it all mean is he interested what [...]
Last night, I was at a business networking mixer here in Los Angeles. As the event winded down, I was talking to these two lovely young ladies — let’s call them Ashley and Sarah — who seemed really preoccupied about a message Ashley was composing on her Blackberry.
They kept on going back and forth, with [...]
Last Sunday was Mother’s Day, which reminded me of the Ten Commandments.
That’s because there’s only one measly commandment telling you what to do: ‘honor thy father and thy mother.’ The remaining nine are a relentless barrage of ‘thou shalt nots’, telling you what not to do.
So if you were to follow them to the [...]
This reader brings up a great question:
Hi! Alex,
I have been enjoying your autoresponder updates. Thank you! I am grateful that my friend told me about you!
My question is:
When a man uses vulgar language (mainly the “f” word) around me (and we are just getting to know one another), how do I let him know that [...]
Today I want to talk a little bit about confidence. It’s probably more a yang (masculine) quality than a yin (feminine) one. But I’ll just assume it’s of general interest and address both the men and the women.
First of all, what the heck is confidence? It’s what linguists call a nominalization – basically a [...]
I had the pleasure of meeting Dr Eva at a conference here in LA last month where she was speaking. As is my habit with all readings, I purchased her book and had her sign it (gotta support your friendly neighborhood fellow author, y’know).
At the time, my reading queue was over 30 deep, and I [...]
The teleseminar I’m holding tonight, Thursday 19 March 2009, will elaborate on the concepts from the previous post. It’s free to join us on the call, although there’s only room for 200 listeners, so call in early:
Date: Thu 19 March 2009
Time: 6pm PDT/9pm EDT
Duration: about 60min
Call-in #: 218 486 1300
Access code: 667202
It’s totally, completely and [...]
Some of you, my astute readers, already noticed that the dating challenges enumerated in the last article – focusing on careers instead of relationships, expecting to be loved for the wrong reasons, not acting like a sexual being, self-sabotaging and ego identity – are not just specific to smart people. They’re specific to people. [...]
I have a mini-confession to make: I wrote the Tao of Dating books specifically for really smart people. The writing of the books was precipitated by the endemic dating woes on the Harvard campus, as I observed them as an advisor and earlier, indulged in them as a student.
Those kids graduate and pretty much continue [...]
Earlier this week I was having a conversation with a friend about how dinner dates are probably one of the worst ways of getting to know someone. It’s basic stuff, but well worth repeating, because, well, people seem to keep on having these dinner dates. Much of what I write here concerns the loftier aspects [...]
I don’t think there’s any holiday on the American calendar quite so disdained and reviled as Valentine’s Day.
I mean, how many times have you heard of an ‘anti-Christmas party’? “Down with this fat guy who never brings me stuff I want! It’s all commercialized kitsch, nobody knows when the dude was born, and it’s supposed [...]
I’ve briefly touched upon the Odysseus protocol in the past.
The name comes from Homer’s Odyssey. Odysseus and his ship are about to pass through the Siren-infested waters. On the one hand, he knows that hearing their song will spell his doom. On the other hand, he’s dying of curiosity and is tired of hearing about [...]
Looks like we’re living in interesting times.
The financial markets are in a tizzy, people are losing jobs and homes, and there’s a pivotal election coming up on top of all that.
Hey, just yesterday, even I got hit by a couple of nasty surprises, and lord knows I was pretty bummed out for a little while.
I [...]
I’ve always said getting married because you’re in love is like buying a car because you’re drunk — making a major life decision when you’re in a state of severely compromised judgment. The following New York Times article talks about that and brings up some other interesting facts.
In the new issue of Nature, the neuroscientist [...]
This article is about how your perpetual happiness is pretty much in your hands right now. And I will state without proof that being a healthy, happy, optimistic person makes you more fun to be around. And that people who are fun to be around are just going to be more successful in [...]
Greetings! I promised to write you an article on how to get out of a slump.
Problem was, I was experiencing a bit of an idea slump myself. So I waited until the time was right. That’s going to be one of the themes of this article, as you’ll see.
Have you ever experienced [...]
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If you don't think you're smart, fine. If you want to be resistible, fine. Otherwise, you need to get this book for yourself you smart woman you. 'Cause it's life-changingly awesome, that's all.
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