Category: Safety

  • Before you say “I do”: a checklist for women

    I’m happy to report that I’m riled up again.  A good thing, because it makes me do useful things, like finishing books and writing this here article.

    It’s not a good thing because usually what gets me riled up is a good woman stuck in a bad spot.

    Not so long ago, I met such a woman.  She’s smart, healthy, tall, educated and dazzlingly beautiful.  Her poetry attests to a nimble intellect, an expansive soul and an observant eye for the truth.  A rare individual.

    What I did not understand was how she got married to a man who ended up abusing her, cheating on her and blaming his cheating on her (“This is what you deserve”).  She had two children with him and is still going through a rancorous divorce 2 years after separating, and is in a pretty tough spot financially and emotionally.

    How does crap like this happen to good women — smart women who know better?

    Well, it can happen in a lot of ways:

    • You fall in love, put your frontal lobe in a jar and marry a guy you later on find you don’t know all that well.
    • Some dude pursues you so doggedly that you just give up after a while.
    • You’re stuck in a bad living situation and use marriage as an escape route.
    • Your parents treated you poorly so you marry a guy who fits that love template ’cause it feels like home, albeit a shitty one.

    The reasons for women marrying the wrong guy are (more…)

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