Category: Safety

  • WED FEB 19: The 5 Magic Questions – What 5000 Women’s Letters Reveal About Love & Dating

    Are you enough?
    Are you buying or selling?
    What do you want?
    Do you feel safe?
    Who are you, really?

    Here’s a quick story for you:

    On this day about 11 years ago, I published The Tao of Dating for women.

    I had already written the version for men, which took me 3 months to write. The book for women, on the other hand, took me over 3 years. Partly because at the time I didn’t really believe I was qualified to comment on the topic. What could a guy possibly know about such things?

    But since then, I’ve gotten over 5000 letters from my readers about their love lives. And certain patterns have revealed themselves from those letters, from which emerge The 5 Magic Questions.

    How you answer these questions determines not just the quality of your love life, but the quality of your whole existence.

    I’m not totally exaggerating here, m’dear. Questions like “Am I enough?” are always operating in the background, whether you’re dealing with a boss, a lover, a family member, a classroom of people, or just friends. It affects your salary, your health, your happiness.

    Science shows that the answer to the question “Do I feel safe?” determines the range of your existence: how far you’re willing to go beyond your comfort zone, how much risk you’re willing to take, and thus how much you can flourish as a human being.

    And, what DO you want? Ain’t that the perennial dilemma.

    Next Wednesday, Feb 19, 7.15pm-8.45pm PT/10.15pm-11.45pm ET via live workshop in LA and via Zoom livestream elsewhere, I will go through The 5 Magic Questions and their vast implications on your love life and beyond.

    For those of you who are in LA, the live workshop is $25. If you’re far away (like in Paris, Moscow, or Glendale), you can attend via livestream (or get the video and audio recording later) for just $10.

    Your time is the most precious commodity you have — the one thing that is completely irreplaceable.

    My job is to change people’s lives for the better in the time I have with them, whether through lecture, coaching or therapy. So when you choose to spend your time with me, I’ll do my darndest to deliver information that can transform you.

    I hope you can join us next Wednesday so you can stand taller, grow faster, and feel better in your life. Prepare to be moved. Sign up here. Full Eventbrite description below.

    All the best, Dr Ali

    THE 5 MAGIC QUESTIONS: WHAT 5000 WOMEN’S LETTERS REVEAL ABOUT LOVE & DATING

    Since I published The Tao of Dating 11 years ago, it has been the #1-rated dating book on Amazon for 7 years, as well as its most-highlighted title (what? seriously?). Tens of thousands of smart, strong professional women like yourself have enriched their love lives with its precepts.

    Over those 10 years, I’ve noticed a pattern from the 5000+ readers’ letters I’ve received: they all seem to contain the same 5 questions!

    I call these The 5 Magic Questions. Answer them right, and your love life will go spectacularly well. Get them wrong, and fulfillment will prove elusive.

    In this 75min workshop, we will examine who you really are, what truly fulfills you, how to find it, and how to keep it in your life. Some topics we’ll cover:

    • The perils and opportunities of online dating. Used incorrectly, tools like Tinder, Bumble, Match and OKcupid can make you miserable. Find out how to use them right.
    • The one question to ask to make sure a guy’s not a sociopath/psychopath
    • Lance, Biff and Victor: the three archetypes of men and how to spot them
    • How to tell the difference between Good Guys and Bad Boys, and avoid the latter like the plague
    • Subtle ways you may be sabotaging your own love life right now
    • Insights on how men think, from an actual guy :)

    I’ll be giving you tools from both the scientific and spiritual perspectives that my readers found useful for finding and keeping love in their lives. Are you ready to graduate from app swiping and superficial interactions to deep fulfillment and happiness? Then this workshop’s for you. Regardless of your age and whatever your dating situation is, these are the tools that can give you power that cannot be taken away. Sign up now and join the tens of thousands of women who have found more warmth and joy in their lives with The Tao of Dating.

    PS: I’ll talk for about 60min and take questions for the last 15min. There will be signed copies of The Tao of Dating paperback available for purchase for $20.

    Continue To Article

  • Dating Danger in the Digital Age: “Nobody’s Victim” by Carrie Goldberg

    ***Reminder: Webinar CHARISMA KILLERS: THE 7 DEADLY SINS OF PUBLIC SPEAKING is TOMORROW 13 DEC, 12pm PT/3pm ET/5pm São Paulo/8pm London. Sign up here.***

    A couple of months ago, I was wandering in one of my favorite spots in the world, The Strand Bookstore in New York City, when a book with an unusual cover caught my eye: Nobody’s Victim: Fighting Psychos, Stalkers, Pervs, and Trolls by Carrie Goldberg (ebook & print).

    What is this all about? I requested the ebook from my local library via the insanely great Libby app (which you should all get, by the way). A few weeks later, I had the book in my paws for freeeee, wheeee. Aren’t libraries incredible? For a man with a 160 book-a-year habit, yes they are

    Halfway through the book, which I read in two sittings, I bought the book anyway because it’s scary good. As in both scary and good. So scary that I don’t think I ever want to have a daughter, jeebus.

    Carrie Goldberg is a lawyer whose law firm helps people who have been targeted by “psychos, assholes, trolls, and pervs.” These are terms of art that I’ll let Carrie herself describe:

    My staff and I have even developed a shorthand to describe the shitheads we see most often: psychos, who obsessively stalk, threaten, and intimidate their prey; assholes, who exploit or mistreat victims out of willful ignorance or arrogance or for their own financial gain; trolls, who terrorize victims under the cloak of internet anonymity; and pervs, who get off on overpowering victims into sex acts against their will.

    The stories of Carrie’s clients are harrowing to read. It’s remarkable how awful humans can be to each other. Well, actually, in this book, it’s men being awful to women, and sometimes to other men. (more…)

    Continue To Article

  • Before you say “I do”: a checklist for women

    I’m happy to report that I’m riled up again.  A good thing, because it makes me do useful things, like finishing books and writing this here article.

    It’s not a good thing because usually what gets me riled up is a good woman stuck in a bad spot.

    Not so long ago, I met such a woman.  She’s smart, healthy, tall, educated and dazzlingly beautiful.  Her poetry attests to a nimble intellect, an expansive soul and an observant eye for the truth.  A rare individual.

    What I did not understand was how she got married to a man who ended up abusing her, cheating on her and blaming his cheating on her (“This is what you deserve”).  She had two children with him and is still going through a rancorous divorce 2 years after separating, and is in a pretty tough spot financially and emotionally.

    How does crap like this happen to good women — smart women who know better?

    Well, it can happen in a lot of ways:

    • You fall in love, put your frontal lobe in a jar and marry a guy you later on find you don’t know all that well.
    • Some dude pursues you so doggedly that you just give up after a while.
    • You’re stuck in a bad living situation and use marriage as an escape route.
    • Your parents treated you poorly so you marry a guy who fits that love template ’cause it feels like home, albeit a shitty one.

    The reasons for women marrying the wrong guy are (more…)

    Continue To Article