A supremely useful resource for you:
A little over a year ago, my excellent friend and colleague Evan Marc Katz gave a short talk entitled “10 Truths About Love & Dating.” It was such a tidy, wise and helpful encapsulation of the principles of dating & relating that I encouraged him to turn it into a book.
Now, Evan has a thriving practice coaching smart, strong women to create long-term relationships. He may even be the very first dating coach ever (2001!), way before it was cool. And I still think he’s one of the best in the world at what he does, if not the best. Don’t believe me? Just go to his website and behold the panoply of wedding photos that his mentorship has directly catalyzed :)
To my chagrin, Evan didn’t drop everything and write the book. He’s got a wife and two kids and a bunch of teams he coaches whateverrrr.
But I did still want to get the word out. So I took it upon myself to use AI tools to instantaneously transcribe the 17,500 words of his talk. And then I used this crazy Google tool called NotebookLM to turn that talk into a two-person podcast. Which is of course completely bonkers. They sound totally realistic.
But the point is that this little podcast episode is AWESOME. It turned a 50min talk into a 19min (only 9.5min at 2x speed, my preferred pace) essence of what you need to know about the most important topic in life: how to meaningfully and durably connect with other humans.
The 10th of the 10 Truths, “The 3 Lists”, is so life-changing as to be worth the whole exercise all by itself. It’s a cornerstone of Evan’s coaching, and I’m grateful that he’s willing to share it with us here.
To listen and learn a bunch, click here if you have some sort of Google account. The webpage may ask you to log in to your account first. If that doesn’t work, click here to download the file or listen to it directly above.
And for further resources:
• If you feel like coaching is the solution to your challenges, contact Evan directly. He’s the best at what he does.
• Read my latest book, The 5 Hidden Love Questions. It’s my best work to date (ha :) and the culmination of all of my thinking about love & dating over the past 20 years. It’s almost certainly the last book I’m going to write on dating. It also helps put food on the table, so like, support your friendly neighborhood author already :)
• If I’m not talking about dating as much, what the heck am I talking about? Happiness Engineering, which includes your love life and goes way beyond it. Look out for my next Tune Up Your Life webinar.
Aaand the list of the 10 Truths to get you going:
• Realistic Expectations
• Making Time for Love
• Good Qualities & Bad Qualities
• Stereotypes: Truths & Exceptions
• Chemistry vs Compatibility
• Partner Selection
• Relationship Pace
• The Hallmark of Good Relationships
• The Paradox of Choice
• Feelings vs the Checklist
• Self-awareness: The Infamous 3 Lists Exercise
To your greater happiness & growth,
Dr Ali aka Dr Victor