Video Mailbag #2: Self-Sabotage 101

Sometimes I get a letter from you ladies so rich with nuance, implication and dysfunction that I realize it would take me hours to write a response covering everything I want to say.

That’s when I resort to this newfangled technology called “video”, and bang out a response in 10min instead of 10hrs. This means now you also get to stare at my mug to get your answer, so hey, enjoy :)

Two news items first: I’m putting the finishing touches on a digital version of “Project Irresistible”, the 6-week teleclass that I’ve been running periodically to bring the principles of The Tao of Dating into your life and behavior. ‘Cause, let’s face it, if we actually learned everything we read in books, we’d all be hyper-successful super-geniuses by now with perfect lives, right?

Well, it don’t work that way. One thing I learned in med school was that route of administration matters. So a well-designed course, with audio and written material and exercises, can make a big difference. More about it on Monday.

Second, thanks for all your feedback on the Tao of Dating Cover Redesign Contest. Your votes so far have been very helpful, but even more so — your comments! Such aesthetes in our midst, but of course. Your taste matters, because lord knows I ain’t going to be reading this book — you ladies are. So chime in, cast your vote, and expound on your thinking here.

Now let’s set the scene for this letter: our heroine, whom we shall call Gilda, gets together with this guy who was going through a divorce. Except that he gets back together with his wife, leaving Gilda high and dry. But then, he separates from his wife again, and comes crawling back to Gilda. They get together again, and — you guessed it — dude goes back to his wife, leaving Gilda a very sad camper. Except that now he’s finalized the divorce, and guess who he just called? Ay crud. So Gilda asks me: “What should I do, Doc?” Well, what do you think ladies? And before you get all judgey on her — you’d never think like this yourself, right? Here we go:

8 Comments on “Video Mailbag #2: Self-Sabotage 101”

  1. Kristin Bernardo

    Really excellent. You do a fantastic down of breaking it down and illustrating what’s really going on underneath the surface – love the gambling analogy! I think we’ve all felt that addiction before….thanks for being you, Dr. Ali :-)

    1. Jane

      “Go look in an Indian restaurant!” Love this. So funny and so true. Thank you — very helpful video.

  2. Missy

    Thank you, Dr. Ali! Timely message for my situation! I so appreciate you! I hope you have a wonderful day!

  3. Sara

    Thank you Dr Ali! I wish I had “found” you earlier in my life , wasted or let’s say “invested” a few years of my life , with indecisive idiots !
    Great video!
    Thank you !

  4. Marg

    I feel it is imperative to know and respect your own boundaries – know what you want and settle for nothing else.

  5. Sandy

    This was excellent! In the immortal words of Homer Simpson, “It’s funny because it’s true.” Thanks for your wisdom and support.