Do you like wine? How about sushi? It’s the rare woman who doesn’t like one or the other. And it’s an ever rarer woman who liked either wine or sushi at age 5. Raw fish and bitter drinks? Ewwww.
And yet, something happened between age 5 and now. Maybe after that inauspicious first encounter, you thought, “Well, lots of people seem to like it, so maybe there’s something to it.” So, cautiously, you gave Chardonnay or salmon roll another try. After a while, you found it tolerable. And one day, it became your favorite thing in the whole world. Crazy, huh.
Of the married women I’ve spoken to, the following describes the most common course of their premarital romance: “Oh, I really didn’t like him that much when we first met.” Like sushi and wine, the husband was initially unpalatable, later delectable – an acquired taste.
This is because, as a woman, you have a unique gift – an alchemical power almost. And it is this: if a man makes you feel good, in your eyes you can make him look good. This is pretty miraculous, and its power should not be underestimated. It implies that you are fully capable of dating a guy who’s not your ‘type’ initially – and end up being deliriously happy with him, as he becomes your type as you get to know and appreciate him better over time.
Now there has to be at least a smidgen of sexual compatibility here for this to work (see #20), so if he doesn’t light your fire at all, he may be the wrong guy. But even a small fire, properly tended, can turn into a giant blaze. That’s what we’re talking about here.
When you know that your mind is designed to turn something you don’t even like into your favorite dish, then you know you live in a benevolent universe. What makes you happy is no longer constrained by the images in ads and movies, and you know for a fact that you can find real fulfillment in unexpected packages.
May the miracles never cease, hallelujah and amen.
Comments? Thoughts? Talk to me — want to know what’s on your mind. — Dr Ali B