Category: Insight

  • Sexual dynamics in the 21st century

    This insightful article popped up on Slate last week.  Worth a read:

    Sex Is Cheap

    Why young men have the upper hand in bed, even when they’re failing in life.

    By Mark Regnerus, Posted Friday, Feb. 25, 2011, at 12:23 PM ET

    We keep hearing that young men are failing to adapt to contemporary life. Their financial prospects are impaired—earnings for 25- to 34-year-old men have fallen by 20 percent since 1971. Their college enrollment numbers trail women’s: Only 43 percent of American undergraduates today are men. Last year, women made up the majority of the work force for the first time. And yet there is one area in which men are very much in charge: premarital heterosexual relationships. Continue here

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  • Why it is wise to worship a woman, by Arjuna Ardagh

    I was fortunate enough to come across this article by Arjuna Ardagh on the goddess on Huffington Post as I was checking up on my own article there.  This is now required reading for all my boys and girls.

    Men: this is the highest expression of the unarticulated longing inside your heart for the divine feminine.  It’s also the solution to all of your dating woes.  If this is how you see women and convey it to them, you will have throngs of goddesses adoring you wherever you go.

    Women: this is about you.  Realize that you are the goddess right here, right now.  Ease into it, live it, breathe it, and radiate it outward.  It’s also the solution to all of your dating woes.  If you show up as the goddess and gradually lead him into the inner sanctum of your divine feminine, he cannot resist. This is what the whole Tao of Dating program is about.

    That said, here’s the beginning of the article.  Blog protocol requires that I put up an excerpt and direct you to the original source, so go to it:

    “A few days ago, after a particularly exquisite evening with my wife Chameli, I put this post up on Facebook before going to bed:

    “I have had many, many great teachers in my life. A super abundance. No one and nothing comes close to the woman who is now asleep in the bedroom. My marriage has become the guru, the salvation, the muse, the crack through which the divine shines through.”

    When I woke up the next morning, (more…)

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  • What it really means when you criticize others

    The other day I heard a friend say, “Y’know, so-and-so is really judgmental, don’t you think?”  I couldn’t help but smile a little bit, since she was completely oblivious to the fact that, at that moment, she was engaging in the very same behavior she found reprehensible in another person — namely, being judgmental.

    You can think of this as a blind spot — people being oblivious to their own faults while gleefully pointing out those of others.  I prefer to think of it as a homing device and highly accurate insight into the self.

    Why?  Because the trait we find least attractive in others tends to be a trait that we exhibit and secretly, unconsciously, don’t like about ourselves.  This I’ve found to be true with remarkable consistency — pretty much always.  As Jung is purported to have said, all perception is projection.  And Anaïs Nin: “We don’t see the world as it is; we see the world as we are.”

    The criticism is most pronounced when someone is a slightly worse version of yourself in some department.  You’ll really dig into someone who’s slightly lazier than you, or slightly later than you, because you hate that laziness and lateness in yourself with a blazing passion.

    So next time, whether in the context of friendship or love, you find yourself criticizing someone, take that as an opportunity to assess who you are and what you don’t like about yourself.  As the Persian expression goes, kolahe khodeto ghazi kon — literally, make your own hat the judge.  Or as we say in English, take a look in the mirror.

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    Categories: Insight