Why it is wise to worship a woman, by Arjuna Ardagh

I was fortunate enough to come across this article by Arjuna Ardagh on the goddess on Huffington Post as I was checking up on my own article there.  This is now required reading for all my boys and girls.

Men: this is the highest expression of the unarticulated longing inside your heart for the divine feminine.  It’s also the solution to all of your dating woes.  If this is how you see women and convey it to them, you will have throngs of goddesses adoring you wherever you go.

Women: this is about you.  Realize that you are the goddess right here, right now.  Ease into it, live it, breathe it, and radiate it outward.  It’s also the solution to all of your dating woes.  If you show up as the goddess and gradually lead him into the inner sanctum of your divine feminine, he cannot resist. This is what the whole Tao of Dating program is about.

That said, here’s the beginning of the article.  Blog protocol requires that I put up an excerpt and direct you to the original source, so go to it:

“A few days ago, after a particularly exquisite evening with my wife Chameli, I put this post up on Facebook before going to bed:

“I have had many, many great teachers in my life. A super abundance. No one and nothing comes close to the woman who is now asleep in the bedroom. My marriage has become the guru, the salvation, the muse, the crack through which the divine shines through.”

When I woke up the next morning, there were the usual offerings of people who liked the post as well as comments. One man had the vulnerability and courage to post this on facebook:

“Thank you Arjuna for this sharing, I feel like [I’m] in front of a choice which is between feeling envious of what you have and I don’t, or instead to decide that ‘I want that too,’ and, as you show, it is possible…”

I was touched.

Over the next days, I got several more messages like this from men: vulnerable men, honest men, rare and courageous men. They came in as private messages on Facebook or through our website, and they all said basically the same thing:

“I read your Facebook post. I want what you have. Show me how to get it.”

So, friends, here it is. The short guide on how to worship a woman, and why it’s the wisest thing that a man can do. First of all, lets pop a few very understandable doubts that you might have. I’m familiar with all of them.

1. “I’m wounded and damaged in my relationships to the feminine.”
So am I, dear brother, so am I. My parents divorced in a messy way when I was four. I grew up alone with my mother. She did her very best to provide for me, but she was unhappy and insecure. By the time I started to have relationships with women myself in my early teens, I discovered that I had a mountain of resentments, fears, and separation in my relation to the feminine. The conscious practice of worship can become a part of healing the wounds.

2. “Arjuna, you’re lucky. You’ve got an incredible partner. I’m together with a woman who’s not like Chameli.”

I really don’t have the ultimate answer to that doubt or question. It certainly could seem to be the case that I’ve been lucky in finding a great woman, but here’s how it happened for me. I’ve had a lot of less lucky connections in my life. I’ve experienced my share of the manipulative side of the feminine: the victim, the rageful, the vengeful. And I have seen the ugly side of the masculine psyche in myself. A few weeks prior to meeting Chameli, my wife, something deep and profound shifted in me, which I believe can shift for anyone in the same way.

3. “I don’t have a partner at all, and I sometimes doubt if I’ll ever meet anybody.”
Being with a partner where worship is not flowing, or not being with a partner at all, are basically two aspects of the same situation: you’ve had an intuition or a glimpse of the possibilities of a deeper love, and you want more of it. The solutions are the same.

4. “I feel my heart is closed down. I live in my head a lot, and I wouldn’t even know what worship was if it broke into my house at 2 o’clock in the morning and held me at gunpoint.”
That’s where the whole thing starts for all of us, when we realize that we don’t yet know how to love. And that’s that the big question that you have to consider: “Is that okay with me?” Never mind how much money you make, or how many friends you have on Facebook, no matter how nice a house you live in, or no matter how big a car you drive, no matter how impressive your partner’s bust size, or how much you meditate and become spiritual… have you loved for real, in a total and undefended way? If not, and here’s where you have to be honest with yourself, is that OK with you? Is it OK to die one day without the heart’s gift having been fully given?

Eight or nine years ago, I came to that question in myself, exactly that, and I discovered that the answer was…” continue reading here

7 Comments on “Why it is wise to worship a woman, by Arjuna Ardagh”

  1. Betsey Merkel

    Thank you for posting this. A beautiful reflection from a man’s experienced perspective. Simple and gracious revelation that describes the pathway to participating at higher levels of emotional connection. What is so wonderful is the way to engage is possible for anyone, anywhere.

  2. Joey

    But this won’t be compatible with the 3.5 negs I have to throw out every 10 minutes to maintain the appropriate push-pull ratio.

  3. (r)Evolutionary


    Of course you love it. It strokes the female ego.

    Most assuredly, this is not realistic for most modern men & women. If you think so, then you’re just like 90% of women out there who don’t understand their own attraction triggers.

    What women say they want, what they think they want, and what they respond to biologically are three entirely different things.

    Arjuna’s perspective works because he and his wife are in a culturally defined relationship that has more to do with their spirituality and old-world culture than modern American culture. The average American male who attempts this with the average American female, even with the purest and most benevolent intentions of connecting with her authentic heart, will get crushed. It’s just not congruent with the evolutionary attraction triggers that have evolved over eons. It’s just that simple–the average American female doesn’t dig nice guys. They’re too wishy washy, and now you want them to come at it with this *worship* concept, which is now super extra lovey dovey spiritual nice guy.

    I wish I could get behind this concept, but it’s just delusional unless you’re in a relationship like Arjuna’s–20+years into a culturally defined relationship where the trust can handle this kind of emotional disclosure from the male. I’ve been in a so-called spiritual partnership, and yes, it had intensely spiritual aspects, and both myself and the woman I was involved with are spiritual people with daily practices..And I’m here to tell you.. Worshipping a woman like Arjuna advocates here is pedestalization, and that’s the last thing most American females need. Kick out the pedestal and let’s relate to one another on equal ground.

    Joey’s comment may seem to be tongue-in-cheek (no pun intended, since we’re talking dating here), but there’s a lot of truth said in jest.

    1. Ali Binazir MD MPhil Post author

      @(r)Evolutionary: Thanks for a great comment. You do make some good points about there being a difference between what people say they want, what they respond to, and what truly fulfills them. That’s what the whole Tao of Dating book is about. However, it seems as if you’re just going with hearsay when you say ‘the average American male who attempts this… will get crushed’. The proper spirit of free inquiry would have you go out and try this out, come back with a statistically-significant sample and report on your findings. Otherwise you express mere opinion, which is free and plentiful — and therefore not worth a whole lot.

      What I can tell you from my experience is that what Arjuna describes is nothing less than the deepest yearning of the divine feminine within every woman. Girls may not recognize this within themselves. Many women aren’t comfortable with it. But some women get it. And those who do know that the praise does not come from a supplicant putting her on a pedestal, but from a male counterpart of a goddess — a god. We see the world not as it is but as we are, and so it is only a true god who can see the goddess nature in a woman. Look at the world with those eyes, then tell me what you see.

  4. Rebecca Cheng

    Oh, I wish I’d known about this article years ago! It’s so divine and spiritual. It really is the Way (or Tao) to romance. I’ll have to get my ladies (and guys) to read this. And especially a guy I like too. But then, he’s already quite a romantic type too…lol. I simply love this concept of knowing that being feminine is so demure yet powerful, like a goddess. Btw, I love this article so much I’ve linked it to a blog I wrote about Tao.