Subject: Approaching a Stranger of Interest
Hallo Dr. Alex,
Such good material. Sorry that I just joined you. If I knew, I could have joind you long ago. But for now Dr, a simple question here:
There is this girl in town I have been looking at for quite some time now (it’s a girl, not a woman, 20 years of age or so). She looks beautiful to me in all departments e.g. behaviours, physically, mentally… yup, so to say. The problem is, this is not my home town, I only came down here for work. So, not so many people know me yet. I mean, this girl does not know me, her friends do not know me and I don’t know them. I only noticed this girl and so, I started looking at her. I have not made her know that I’m interested in her. And I don’t think she took notice of me because I never presented myself upon her yet.
Now, I would like to make a move for this girl. She looks mature and there for taking. Could you please advice me on how to make a move for this girl?? Your opinion and wise words would be appreciated Dr.
Avril
Avril,
Thanks for writing in. Sun Tzu says in “The Art of War” that the battle is won or lost before the first blow is struck. Seems to me that without really having spoken to this woman, you have already built her up far too much. So this battle is already lost — if you go into it with the mindset that she’s so great (do you really know that?) and somehow you must have her because she’s cute and ‘there for the taking.’ I would recommend going out with a few other women or just speaking to this one with the aim of finding out who she is (vs impressing her, or trying to pull off some trick to ‘get’ her). Once you want her less and know her more, you’ll be in a much better position.
All the best,
Dr Alex