Sometimes you get a letter so damn eloquent that it just requires a substantive response. This letter’s about the part in the ‘5 Biggest Dating Mistakes of College Men’ post about being exiled to the Friend Zone, aka Justfriendistan:
Has the most mindful Dr. Ali, in his personal experience with humans of the female persuasion, ever been exiled to Justfriendistan despite intelligent jiu-jitsu reversa-visa framing?
There was a turbaned woman on the outskirts of Medina with beauty to whip instant sandstorms with a lift of her eyebrow — hazel eyes simmering beneath her veil — and a rich man with many oil wells courted her using the official Dr. Ali (c) reversing-the-framing method. She ignored him. He’s quicksanded in Justfriendistan. Is there no hope? Is there no way out?
— Tom S.
Ah yes. Justfriendistan. A territory only to be rivaled in inhospitability by the western Sahara, the Atacama desert, and Dante’s Ninth Circle of Hell. Heck, most guys would rather be on the surface of Mercury getting zapped by cosmic rays than being exiled to Justfriendistan.
The best way to get out of Justfriendistan is to never get into it in the first place. It’s a bit facile, I know — “Just don’t get into trouble, stoopid” — but a lot of things in life are like obesity: it’s just really tough to take care of the problem once you’re stuck in it.
Tough — but not impossible.
First, let’s talk prevention. We start with my story. (more…)