“The holidays are about connection. The book I wrote before The Spectrum was called Love and Survival: 8 Pathways to Intimacy and Health. People who are lonely and isolated are 3 to 10 times more likely to die prematurely than people who are in a community.
One of the reasons why people get depressed during the holidays is because (more…)
Recently I came back from a stay in Europe, where several of my friends were generous enough to host me. As an extra perk of these visits, I got to know these friends a lot better.
After hearing the stories of their romantic woes, I realized that to have a fulfilling love life, there are two body parts that you need to be sure to keep open. No, it’s not the right leg and left leg, although those are important, too. It’s your eyes and your heart.
What do I mean by keeping your eyes open? It means that you exercise discernment. You’re looking closely to see if this person would make a good match for you. Is she sweet? Is he gainfully employed? Educated? Good family? Mentally stable? In good health? If you’re interested in a long-term match, these factors really matter when selecting a partner.
A couple of days ago I went to the Albert Cuyp street market in Amsterdam. They have a great selection of fresh produce, including all kinds of tropical fruits that have no business being in northern Europe. But there they were, so I got a bunch of mangoes and pineapples for less than a song.
I peeled and chopped up both fruits and took my time to thoroughly appreciate their fresh, juicy, sticky goodness. The pile of pineapple was on top, so I had some of that first. Mmmhmmmm. As I slowly bit into each piece, the little stacks of wet, sugar-impregnated pineapple fibers yielded to the pressure of my teeth, releasing their inner nectar. Ripe, flavorful, luscious. How could the universe improve upon that perfection?
After a few chunks of pineapple, it was time for the mango. This ripe mango was a deep shade of yellow, and had a texture like lightly-sauteed foie gras – so barely-solid as to be almost liquid, waiting for the tiniest provocation to release itself into an (more…)
This month, no fewer than three of my friends have pressed me into service as a breakup counselor. And if three of them are actually telling me about it, that means there are another 300 out there who are not.
So in the interest of helping out all of those suffering in silence now or in the future, I’m compiling a list of interventions that many have found useful in handling such matters of the heart. Let’s start with the non-negotiable one first:
1) Break contact completely.
We’ve all heard of drugged-out celebrities going to rehab, but ever wonder what actually happens there? The first thing rehab does is to keep the patient away from his drug of choice. His brain’s been so lit up by his habit that neuronal receptors for the drug are now screaming for another fix like a million hungry chicks.
Well, your ex-lover operates on your brain just like that drug, so now you need to detox, too. You need to give your (more…)
A couple of weeks ago, I attended a yoga festival conveniently located right down the street from me in Santa Monica. On the first day of this Tadasana Festival, the co-founder (and yoga instructor) Tommy Rosen was conducting a provocatively titled class – Getting High: Yoga and the Infinite Pharmacy Within.
Well then. Lord knows this happiness engineer isn’t one to pass up a non-pharmacological psychedelic experience, so I was in, baby. What transpired was novel, literally electrifying, completely unexpected, and potentially transformative.
In my 12 years of yoga practice, I had never experienced (more…)
Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls: I have a special treat for you. My friend and colleague Olivia Fox Cabane, speaker and trainer to corporations (eg Google), universities (eg MIT and Harvard) and governments worldwide, is coming out on March 28 with her long-awaited new book, The Charisma Myth: How Anyone Can Master the Art and Science of Personal Magnetism. It’s a manual on how to be even more charismatic (since all of you are already such charming devils, obviously).
As a personal favor, I have wrangled her into giving us an interview on the key principles in her book. I’ll be doing the interview this Monday, 26 March 2012. Here’s the information:
Date: Monday, 26 March 2012, 6pm PDT/9pm EDT/2am London/6am Dubai/12 noon Sydney
Call-in number: +1 218 862 1300
Access code: 667202
Duration: 40min interview, 15min Q&A
Why do you want to attend this call live? Because I’ve seen Olivia speak many times, and I can attest firsthand to the power of her teachings. Charisma can be learned, and quickly — and there aren’t a lot of people better at teaching it than Olivia. Now that she’s not jetting off to train some South American head of state and we have her all to ourselves, you definitely want to be on the call live so you can ask her your burning questions about how to present yourself even more effectively. Ideally, you would read the book beforehand so you can ask the deep questions that usually only the El Presidentes paying her megabucks get to ask.
Some of what we’ll be covering:
Is charisma innate, learned or a little bit of both?
The three components of charisma and how to dial each one up or down to be like Colin Powell, Bill Gates or the Dalai Lama
Which type of charisma to use for a given situation
Three ways to increase your charisma pretty much instantly
Side effects and dangers (?) of charisma
Here’s a little sampler from one of her talks on a related topic:
There’s no charge for any of this, so feel free to spread the word and tell your friends about it — they’ll thank you for it.
See you there and then
Dr Ali B
PS: It is now the day after the interview, which means it already happened – and now we have a recording. I was unexpectedly on the road away from my studio equipment, so the quality of my voice is so-so. But Olivia comes through great, and that’s who you wanted to listen to anyway, so here ya go: