Ask Dr Ali for Women: Picking the Wrong Men for Dating

Today’s email comes from Susan who tends to have trouble picking men who are “right” for her.

Hi there,
Would your book be helpful for a woman to read? I seem to attract relationships with wifebeaters, dopeheads and binge drinkers!!!
They all seem so charming and normal to start with. Is it just me?

Thanks for writing in, Susan.

Many of the principles in the book are useful regardless of gender. However, I’d encourage you to get the women’s version, which is now available at

These rogues that are waltzing into your life sometimes project a natural attractiveness about them. Your job is to realize that attraction happens at an unconscious level and then do your due diligence in figuring out whether they are actually good for you or not. So in that sense — yes, you have been and will be fully responsible for all of the decisions you have made. Now that you know you have the power, it’s time for you to make better decisions.

I also suspect that you are meeting these men in public places, versus through friends and family. When a man is introduced to you via a trusted source, it’s much easier to get a back story on him and much harder for him to behave irresponsibly.

All the best,
Dr Ali

PS: I’m interested in your questions and comments regarding dating, persuasion and networking, so please do send them to me. I can be reached at drali(at)

PPS: Can you think of two friends who would also find this article useful? Then send it to them – they’ll thank you for it!

Categories: Dating for Women