There are two kinds of things that make a woman sexier in this world: the stuff that costs money, and the stuff that doesn’t. The former work by altering your physical appearance so you seem sexier and more attractive, even though the redness of your lips, the rosiness of your cheeks and the size of your eyes hasn’t fundamentally changed. In a sense, these physical enhancements are dishonest, since they’re a misrepresentation of what’s underlying.
The second category of things that make you sexier are free, natural and honest, and work with what your mama gave you. Because I’m here to tell you that what your mama gave you is plenty fine. You can’t really change it anyway, and why should you? If you’re alive that’s miracle enough. So this article is not about clothes, cleavage or cosmetics. It’s about an action or awareness that is available to you all the time, free, and above all, honest. That means it’s the real thing and cannot be faked. And therefore a hell of a lot more effective than its less honest (and costly) counterparts.
Before we get into the list, perhaps it’s important to ask: are you sure you want to be sexy? Because if being desired in a straightforward physical way is not a result you seek, perhaps this list isn’t for you. That said, there will be times when you won’t be able to help it, since you were born to be a sexy beast. When you decide that you want to enhance that animal appeal, here are some suggestions. Some of them will be more applicable to you than others, so work what your mama gave you:
Movement broadcasts to the world that you are a viable, healthy organism, and it’s the cornerstone of sexiness. And when a woman moves in her womanly way, men cannot look away. Particularly effective is dance, which is as close to a Homo sapiens mating call as our species gets. Studies show that there is an unconscious vocabulary of movement whereby women broadcast their level of desire, with men acutely attuned to it. So if you’d like to get the attention of men, you’d do well to get off that corner seat and get thee on the dance floor.
Exercise takes the sexiness benefits of movement up another notch. You can only exercise when you’re super healthy and everything works, so just the act of running or doing yoga broadcasts to the world: “I am sexy.”
Moreover, exercise makes you sexier over the course of three separate time scales. While you’re doing it, you’re looking good and breathing hard – which, incidentally, sounds just like you’re having sex, and sex is sexy the way water is wet, duh. Right after it happens, your face is flushed, your body is supple, and your mind is calm because of the endorphins flooding your flesh. And over the long term, you’re going to have better posture, a more attractive gait, and better mental and physical health. It’s a no-lose proposition however you look at it.
This isn’t something you can necessarily do every day on command. However, awareness of when you’re ovulating is useful. Why? Because that is the monthly peak of your sexiness. And through some unconscious, mysterious means, men notice that.
How do we know that’s true? Through the infamous David Buss stripper study, that’s how. Buss and his colleagues measured how much money a stripper made at different times in her menstrual cycle, reasoning that the amount of money men spend on a stripper is a good measure of her attractiveness. Those who were menstruating made $185 on average during the observation period. Those who were neither menstruating nor ovulating made $260. But those who were ovulating made $335, which is 81% and 24% more than the other two groups.
One way of thinking about it is that when you’re ovulating, you have at least a quarter more mojo than normal. Subtle changes in your complexion, gait and even vocal pitch broadcast to the boys your readiness to bear offspring – which, at the bottom of it, is what ‘sexy’ is all about.
But there’s more to it than that: there was a fourth group of strippers in the study who made even less money than those menstruating – those who were on the contraceptive pill. They made less than half as much money as the ovulators. This means that if you stop taking the pill, you just might double your sexiness.
4) Have more sex.
Apparently there is plenty of research out there showing that having more sex makes you sexier. Then again, there are things in life that are true without needing published articles to say so, and this is one of them: having more sex makes you sexier. The thousands of neurotransmitters and hormones that course through your body, the relaxation of body and mind, increased estrogen, shinier hair, poutier lips, the 25% enlargement of breasts, the afterglow of a healthy animal doing what it’s designed to do – all of these enhance your mojo.
In addition, recent research shows that absorption of semen through mucous membranes enhances women’s mood (research that I somehow suspect was done by a guy). I shall state without proof that a smiley you is generally sexier than a frowny you, so this is a good thing.
There’s a psychological benefit as well. When you’re already getting regular sex from somewhere, you’re less likely to appear needy. This allows you to tap into your abundant, expansive self which is so much attractive than the small, scarcity-conscious alternative.
Every woman knows instinctively that one of the best ways to make one man more interested in you is to be having sex with a man other than him. What she may not know is that the presence of a male competitor, real or imagined, actually turns him on through a phenomenon known as sperm competition. A full explanation of how that works is beyond the scope of this article, but just remember this utterly obvious tidbit: having more sex makes you sexier.
I’ll never forget that Saturday a few years ago when I went with my best friend Dave to see a student opera performance on the Harvard campus. A young lady was about to go on stage, who although pleasant-looking, didn’t make a particular impression upon either of us.
Then her turn came to sing. And from her throat emanated these soprano strains so pure, so sinuous, so bewitching that she instantly transformed into a creature of dazzling beauty – for both me and my buddy. I suddenly wanted her. And was willing to fight Dave over her.
It was as visceral a reaction as I’ve ever had to a woman’s presence, and it was quite telling: a good voice is crazy sexy. Why? Because it’s an honest signal of overall health and hormonal balance, which is the essence of fertility and therefore sexiness. It’s not for nothing that billionaire Aristotle Onassis married opera goddess Maria Callas, and that millions of men pine for pop singers.
So if you have a good voice and you can even vaguely carry a tune, use it. Research shows that higher-pitched voices are particularly appealing, since they correlate with higher estrogen levels, youth and fertility.
6) Touch yourself.
Although touching yourself in the sense of the 1991 hit song by the Divinyls certainly doesn’t hurt, that’s not what I’m talking about here. I’m talking about actually touching yourself: a strategic smoothing of the skirt, a light stroking of the wrist, a two-fingertip caress of the bare neck can make men mad, oh my.
Now a forefinger running down your neck may not seem like a lot to you, but I assure you that to your intended audience, it is devastatingly effective. Sensuality instructor Patty Contenta once demonstrated this technique in a class, and all the men in the room (including yours truly) turned into powerless piles of putty.
If power is the ability to affect change according to your will, then these are resources that can make you more powerful. You will noticeably affect those around you. Even more important, you will feel great. It’s particularly good to remember that you’ve always had this power: your body has always been with you. If you’d forgotten about these freely available resources, now may be a good time to start using them again. Because there is hardly anything sexier than a woman who realizes her power, and a good man loves to see you shine.