Tao of Dating Experiment: ‘Caution: Construction Zone’

AB: This is The Phoenix’s follow-up from the date with the Helmeted Hottie (aka Motorcycle Man).  My comments in italics.

Easy girl. Don’t get too excited just yet. Yes, the date went great and he’s even better looking in person….and the conversation was really good…and he seems to be on the same page….BUT IT’S A FIRST DATE.

***now would be a good time for that meditation***

So the Helmeted Hottie was really great. Better than expected. Granted, he may not be the 6 figure income financier or even close to that, but he is extremely passionate about what he does.

That’s great.  At the very least, you want a man on a mission.  A guy who’s floating around aimlessly is simply the wrong match if you’re getting serious about relationships.  Once you’ve found the man on a mission, it’s up to you to decide if his mission is something you can be aligned with or at least tolerate.  The men who have service and value creation as their mission tend to be good bets, because there’s a place for you to fit in.  With those who have ‘me’ as their mission (e.g. financiers and professional athletes), it’s not quite as clear where you would fit in as a partner.  And if you’re a service-oriented kind of person, you may not be able to sign up 100% for his mission if all he does all day is shift around options on pork bellies.

During the course of the evening I would remember tips I got from the Tao, and I would find myself saying over and over, “remember the Yin with the Yang!!” when I found myself talking too much about my masculine hobbies or coming off too “tough” or “businessy”.

I still need to give my recap of the last few chapters but so much of it was fresh in my mind tonight and I was thankful for it. Not saying it was a direct result of having read those chapters, but this was quite possibly one of the best first dates I have had in a VERY long time. I don’t think those chapters hurt, that’s for sure.

Before I start naming our future children or writing out my last name as his (totally kidding with this), I’m going to be cautious this time. Not too cautious, but cautious enough that I don’t allow myself to get emotionally invested before he’s proven that he is worthy of that investment.

AB: Supremely wise choice.  Be open to everything but attached to nothing.  Liking someone and enjoying his company is always a good idea.  Getting infatuated and concocting all kinds of expectations in your head that cloud your evaluation of the present moment is not as good an idea.  The clarity is the little bit of yang you mix in with the yin.

There were so many poignant tips in those last few chapters that relate to tonight, but the play by play will have to wait till tomorrow. It’s late and I just wanted to give a quick update that the date went very well. Better than expected. The battle was won tonight, but we have yet to win the war!!!

Sweet dreams…fellow Gods and Goddesses!!

1 Comment on “Tao of Dating Experiment: ‘Caution: Construction Zone’”

  1. Theresa Avila

    Awesome! Did you guys kiss at the end of the evening? Or is that info coming in the play by play? I’m teasing. I had a good friend go on a first date yesterday, too. Only the guy was so intent on kissing her, she felt as if she was getting mauled! She is very old-fashioned, where she does not believe in kissing on the first date. But, now she is wondering why he hasn’t called and this or that. It is as if she wants the attention, but she doesn’t want it. To be honest, she’s not a good example to be using here! She has a lot to work on and I’m just an observer. As for me, if I feel like kissing I will, but generally, it just doesn’t happen! The other night I had a first date myself and he gave me a nice touch on my arm, which I thought was so sweet! :) Good luck to you! I’m cheering you on!

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