Dr. Ali "Victor" Binazir, Happiness Engineer

Modern Science and Ancient Wisdom for Living the Good Life

  • Tao of Dating Experiment: ‘Miles to go before I sleep’

    AB: Another frank, spirited post from The Phoenix.  It’s not all rosy-colored out there… Comments below.

    I can’t sleep. It’s 5:41 am, and I am WIDE awake. After 3 failed attempts at sleep, I have actually accomplished quite a few random tasks that needed to be done (bills paid, applications filled out, etc).

    Then I start doing the WORST possible thing I can do at 5am. Unblocking the random people I worked so hard to block on a damn social networking site. Good grief. How old am I??? YOU ARE IN YOUR THIRTIES…not 13. This type of behavior reminds me of when my cousin used to make me go with her when she would drive by her crushes house periodically. It’s the equivalent of stalking, just digitally.

    AB: Perhaps the social networking sites should be excised as part of the fast.  You didn’t have them in 2003, and your life was fine then.  I’d start with a 1-week holiday.

    The Doctor asked me what I meant by my txt today, and it lead to a reasonably uncomfortable (more…)

  • Tao of Dating Experiment: ‘More man than you’ll ever be and more woman than you’ll ever have!’

    AB: Phoenix cracks me up.  My comments in italics, per custom.

    I laugh every time I think about that quote. Probably since it was said by a drag queen character in the movie “To Wong Foo Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar”. But I can recall thinking or saying that referring to myself at several points throughout my life.

    I am a very girlie girl. But I am also a very athletic and adventurous woman. I ride my own motorcycle, I have traveled the world solo, and I actually own 3 different types of saws. I often joke that one of the prerequisites to dating me is that I have to feel confident that if we were walking down a dark alley, my date would be the one who would be better suited to defend us than I would. That and he has to have bigger legs than I do ;)

    Perhaps that is why I may be more drawn to the stereotypical Manly Men. Looking at the last few prospects (more…)

  • Tao of Dating Experiment: ‘Caution: Construction Zone’

    AB: This is The Phoenix’s follow-up from the date with the Helmeted Hottie (aka Motorcycle Man).  My comments in italics.

    Easy girl. Don’t get too excited just yet. Yes, the date went great and he’s even better looking in person….and the conversation was really good…and he seems to be on the same page….BUT IT’S A FIRST DATE.

    ***now would be a good time for that meditation***

    So the Helmeted Hottie was really great. Better than expected. Granted, he may not be (more…)

  • Tao of Dating Experiment: ‘Get your motor running’

    The Phoenix rides again — this time almost literally. My comments in italics.-AB

    So I’ve probably read more of the Tao this weekend than I should have in one sitting. I got to the point where I couldn’t just stop, so I ended up reading several chapters. However, that play by play will have to wait.

    Right now, I am sitting on my couch, dressed and ready to go meet a new prospect. I haven’t gotten to the part of the Tao that tells me whether or not online dating is a good or a bad thing, so I figure (more…)

  • Tao of Dating Experiment: ‘The Doctor’

    The Phoenix rides again. See my comment at the end.– AB

    I can’t sleep.

    That’s pretty normal for me though.  I have a lot on my mind lately.  Work, life, food (a la cleanse = lack of), etc.  I’m a firm believer that everything happens for a reason.  There is Fate, but it generally falls into the overall plan.

    Tonight I went to Yoga to fulfill my twice a week goal.  I hate going to the gym at night since it’s packed…mostly with women with full on club make-up and with more intention of being picked up (more…)

  • Tao of Dating Experiment: ‘Absence makes the heart wander’

    The Phoenix has a new entry up.  I’m so proud of her!  She’s really putting the material to use.  It was my goal to present the material in the book in such a way that the readers would actually implement it, so it’s tremendously gratifying when someone does that.  My hope is that these blog posts can be a catalyst for you, my dear reader sitting at her computer screen, to put the material to use as well.

    My comments will be in italics henceforth.

    Chapter 2: Who You Really Are

    I read this chapter by candlelight while soaking in my tub last Thursday evening. It made such an impact that I have taken a week to marinate in the thoughts and the emotions that those thoughts stirred. I was already coping with the realization that it may not be the men in LA that are the problem, but the problem may just lie (more…)

  • Tao of Dating Experiment: ‘So it begins — Chapter 1’

    The Phoenix speaks again:

    “First impressions: Sinking gut. That lead weight feeling you get when you know you’ve really messed something up. As I read the “Introduction I couldn’t skip” I felt a wave of self pity wash over me. I was these women Dr. Alex was describing.

    I had flashbacks to my last blog joking about my wild attraction to guys without jobs or enough money to even take me out on a decent date…it really isn’t all that funny. I do want a “Good Guy”. As I read the description of what I want aka The Good Guy (strong internal compass, leader, comfortable in his own skin, knows what he wants, etc) I could hear my inner optimist screaming, “Yes! Yes! Yes!”, but once I finished the paragraph my inner pessimist chimed in with, “pshaw, yeah right…not in LA.”

    “When you chase anything in life, you are affirming (more…)

  • Tao of Dating Experiment: ‘The Brazilian’

    This is the second installment of Phoenix’s Tao of Dating experiment:

    I had lunch with the Brazilian today. He called around 11am just as I was about to head out the door to grab lunch in Santa Monica. “Sure, I’ll meet you for lunch”.

    We met sometime last summer on a popular dating website. He was great looking, successful, intelligent…but fresh out of a failed marriage (about a year and a half fresh). We shared a love of adventure, extreme sports, and were both confessed gear whores. (Is there such a thing as REI anonymous?) (more…)

  • Why The Smartest People Have The Toughest Time Dating – comment

    This is a great point, and a challenge particular to all the smart women out there. It’s a little bit like the issue tall women experience: many guys are simply uncomfortable being shorter than their mate. The fact is that the tall women themselves aren’t usually hung up on that — it’s the guys who take themselves out of the running. In the end, the guy you want to be with will be so comfortable in his own skin such that all this will be a non-issue.
    More on Relationships
    Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

  • Why The Smartest People Have The Toughest Time Dating – comment

    Elizabeth Gilbert, the author of ‘Eat Pray Love’, gave a TED talk about genius which I really liked (www.ted.com/talks/elizabeth_gilbert_on_genius.html). She said that it’s not about *being* a genius, but rather about each of us *having* a genius, in the original Latin sense of the word. There is greatness within each one of us which is worth nurturing. It’s an inclusive and life-affirming message, and one we would do well to propagate.

    The power is within you,
    Dr Alex
    http://www.taoofdating.com
    More on Relationships
    Read the Article at HuffingtonPost