Tao of Dating Experiment: ‘The Doctor’
The Phoenix rides again. See my comment at the end.– AB
I can’t sleep.
That’s pretty normal for me though. I have a lot on my mind lately. Work, life, food (a la cleanse = lack of), etc. I’m a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. There is Fate, but it generally falls into the overall plan.
Tonight I went to Yoga to fulfill my twice a week goal. I hate going to the gym at night since it’s packed…mostly with women with full on club make-up and with more intention of being picked up (more…)
Tao of Dating Experiment: ‘Absence makes the heart wander’
The Phoenix has a new entry up. I’m so proud of her! She’s really putting the material to use. It was my goal to present the material in the book in such a way that the readers would actually implement it, so it’s tremendously gratifying when someone does that. My hope is that these blog posts can be a catalyst for you, my dear reader sitting at her computer screen, to put the material to use as well.
My comments will be in italics henceforth.
Chapter 2: Who You Really Are
I read this chapter by candlelight while soaking in my tub last Thursday evening. It made such an impact that I have taken a week to marinate in the thoughts and the emotions that those thoughts stirred. I was already coping with the realization that it may not be the men in LA that are the problem, but the problem may just lie (more…)
Dating for Men: The Tao of Stealing Girlfriends
Hey there. Recently got an interesting letter about a situation that I’m sure many of you have encountered before:
*****LETTER FROM READER*****
Dr. Alex,
I don’t know if you have addressed this before, as I am new to your program. I just met a girl that has been dating a guy for about a month. I really want to steal her away from this guy. I feel like she is in to me.
We were at a party and I made a good impression the first part of the night. She told me I reminded her of a couple of other guys she had dated and her pupils were pretty big. We ended up talking one on one at one point and discovered we lived on the same small street in NYC, pretty random that happening here.
Her boyfriend (French guy) was getting really flustered by our interaction. The French guy was having a party at his house and my ex-girlfriend invited me to join. I have never pulled a jack move like this before and I didn’t tell her I thought she was beautiful or any other type of flirting besides my body language and eye contact. (more…)
Dating & Spirituality II: Yeah, But How Do You Make It Work?
The last article that I wrote, about how the concept of No-Self or anatta can empower your dating in a big way, received one of the most vigorous responses from the readers.
Here’s one of them:
“I really loved this article. The way you weave the concept of no-self into the dating pipeline, examining every step of the pipeline separately is nothing short of brilliant.
My only question is how to convince yourself that you have no self. I understand the metaphysical argument with the river molecules and the brain neuron action potentials changing constantly and all that, but how do I lose the emotional attachment? The pride? It would seem that if I don’t have ego, then I can’t be proud of myself for anything.
Is there a mindtrack that deals with this?”
– Michael, Los Angeles
(more…)
On Smart Dating: The Women’s Responses to Holly’s Story
Wow! I had no idea that there would be such an outpouring of support for Holly from all of the women out there.
Just to bring you up to speed if you’re not one of the subscribers to the women’s newsletter: Holly is my Harvard classmate who was recently divorced and now dating a new guy. Although he was living with her and she was supporting him financially, he wasn’t very nice to her.
It seems like Holly is indeed not alone. And it’s a great reminder of why I wrote The Tao of Dating in the first place.
In spite of all the self-doubt that I had while writing the book, I thought, “Hey. If this book can help even *one* fantastic woman snap out of her sleep and reclaim her power, then the whole exercise will have been worthwhile.” (more…)
The Tao of Getting Out of a Dating Slump
Greetings! I promised to write you an article on how to get out of a slump.
Problem was, I was experiencing a bit of an idea slump myself. So I waited until the time was right. That’s going to be one of the themes of this article, as you’ll see.
Have you ever experienced a slump? That’s what I thought. The structure goes something like this: You experience a setback. It shakes you up a little.
As you’re recovering, another setback hits. Now you weren’t doing anything differently from before, but now you think you’re seeing a trend. This affects your beliefs and attitudes, which actually affects your performance, making more likely — you guessed it — another setback. (more…)
